Joining Joe Biden in mid-babble

Eleven days to the debate, and Dementia Joe Biden is firing up his base, addressing rallies that sometimes draw packed crowds of as many as six or even seven of his adoring supporters, I mean reporters.

We now join Joe Biden in mid-babble out on the campaign trail this week:

“’Cause if you could take care, if you were a quartermaster, you can sure in hell take care runnin’ a, you know, a department store, uh, thing, you know, where, in the second floor of the ladies’ department or whatever, you know what I mean?”

Actually no, I don’t know what you mean, but as usual, all dialogue is guaranteed verbatim.

Consider addiction recovery:

“… and so one of the things that and and by the way this whole notion of uh of of dealing with the idea that you know….”

Probably the strangest moment of the week came when he referred to the “Harris-Biden ticket.” Second place would be when he wandered onto stage at some Hispanic event and then used his cell phone to play a Puerto Rican hit titled “Despacito.”

That was weird because “Despacito” roughly translates into English as “Slowly.” And of course POTUS calls Biden “Slow Joe.”

Even odder, though, is that Slow Joe would publicly play a tune named Slowly that includes the lyrics, even in a foreign language, “I want to breathe your neck slowly/ Let me tell you things in your ears.”

Doesn’t that just remind everyone of all the photos of Dementia Joe over the decades with assorted women from 8 to 80, lurking behind them, pawing various parts of their bodies, sniffing their hair, breathing their necks so to speak?

This week Biden also addressed the ravages of what he calls “Harrycane Sally.” Among veterans, or as he calls them “vuttrans,” he’s concerned about the “suicide academic epidemic,” not to mention the need for the VA to “premote” veterans’ health.

Biden praised “’storic” black colleges. He said the Trump administration “knowingly wrecked havoc and damage on climate, our climate.”

He demanded more funding “to generate, store and transmit this clean electric.”

He said he keeps a list of “US troops died in Iran and Afghanistan.” (Surely he meant to say Iraq?)

Conversant on every pressing issue, Biden also advocated that any COVID vaccine should be approved by a heretofore unknown federal agency, “the Board of Scientists.”

Now, if you’re President Trump, you have to contend daily with media “fact checkers” who are out to wreck havoc, as Joe would put it, on your campaign.

Yet these same modern Diogenes types seldom fact check Joe Biden on his statements about, say, the Board of Scientists, or the US military death toll in Iran.

On Wednesday, for example, POTUS said he’d been reading Bob Woodward’s book “the night before.” The fact-checking Twittersphere instantly exploded – the previous day, Trump had said he’d been reading the Woodward tome “the night before.”

How dare he! He’s lying! Orange Man Bad!

Woodward’s dreary tome is 452 pages long. Even if Trump is just thumbing through it by checking out his own name in the index, it’d probably take him more than one evening.

By way of comparison, I decided to do a Trump-style fact-check on a story that Joe Biden told at one of his phone-booth-style “rallies” on Tuesday. He was recalling a 2011 murder in Delaware by a veteran who ran over an elderly woman who’d been walking her dog.

It was a horrible story, and the original accounts are readily accessible online. But apparently none of the Trump-obsessed alt-left fact-checkers bothered to, you know, fact check.

Slow Joe said the murder happened a “week before Christmas.” (Actually, Dec. 11.)

“There was a Marine veteran …” (Actually, a US Army staff sergeant.)

“He got out and I think it was a Dodge Ram. (A red Hummer, in fact.)

“He ran over her, killed her, killed the dog.” (No, the way the family realized something was wrong was when the dog came back home … without the old lady.)

“He came home and called the State Police … turned himself in.” (No, the cops pulled the murderer over hours later when they noticed damage on the front end on his Dodge Ram, I mean Hummer.)

I cite this story only as an example of the double standard here. Apparently nobody ever checks whatever addled tales Biden is incoherently chattering about from moment to moment.

Will anything change at the debate in Cleveland? Not likely.

Let’s close with a few more of Joe’s Greatest Hits from this week:

“Quite frankly uh I won’t say I get angry I’m — quite frankly it makes me uh very upset.”

And finally:

“I’m sorry, I’m about to end but la-la we have to live so I mean we have to just give people….”

Quite frankly, can we quote you on that, Mr. Vice President la-la?