Confessions of Sleepy Joe Biden and his media enablers

Which of these two famous guys more likely committed the sexual assault he has been accused of?

A) Brett Kavanaugh.

B) Joe Biden.

The answer is obvious, which is why Sleepy Joe has just picked up two very tepid endorsements, one from 78-year-old millionaire socialist Bernie Sanders, and the second from the other half of what Joe calls “the O’Biden-Bama administration.”

On his latest podcast, Sleepy Joe modestly introduced himself:

“Well, the uh look um uh you know uh uh with uh the fact is that uh there’s a lot going on I don’t know where to begin but uh –“

That’s okay, I know where to begin. Let’s start with the charges of Biden’s former aide Tara Reade that in 1993 he threw her up against a wall, reached under her dress and grabbed her by her private parts. And then, when she rebuffed him, he said to her, “C’mon man, I heard you liked me.”

This story broke three weeks ago. Three weeks ago! Yet the New York Times and The Washington Post – the Pravda and Izvestia of the Democrat party – waited until last weekend to, you’ll pardon the expression, touch the story.

Until after Bolshevik Bernie dropped out of the race.

The Times initially reported, “We found no pattern of sexual misconduct by Biden, beyond hugs, kisses and touching that women previously said made them uncomfortable.”

You know, like the female Secret Service agents who said they were forced to watch him swim in the nude when he was vice president. Or the female Nevada state rep who said he wrapped himself around her like an octopus. Or all those photos of him groping gals from 8 to 80 …

But almost instantly the Times deleted the above sentence, after a demand from the Biden campaign. The Times admitted it caved. That’s what party propaganda sheets do, when the commissar puts his shod foot down.

No surprise here – in 2016, at least one Times reporter cleared his fawning Hillary Clinton copy with the campaign. It was all revealed in those Wikileaks emails.

Another one of those leaks indicated that the Democrats were even ghostwriting slobbering Hillary hagiographies for at least one hack at The Washington Post.  Which that brings us to the Post’s brooming of this latest Biden scandal.

“The Post found no other allegations against (Biden) as serious as Reade’s.”

Which is sort of like writing a story about Ted Kennedy and saying, “The Post found no other allegations against Kennedy as serious as Mary Jo Kopechne’s.”

But what more would you expect from two “newspapers” that awarded themselves Pulitzer Prizes a couple of years ago for their “deeply sourced, relentlessly reported coverage” of what was, we now know, an utter hoax — about the Trump campaign colluding with the Russians, when in reality it was Hillary Clinton’s campaign playing footsie with the erstwhile Reds.

Maybe the papers had to “vet” the “salacious allegations” about their hero, Lunch Bucket Joe. Just like they did with, say, Julie Swetnick.

Remember her — she was the very sketchy woman who accused Brett Kavanaugh of once running a teenage rape gang in the Beltway suburbs, even though she was years older than him.

She was the client of one Michael Avenatti, whose Bureau of Prisons number is 86743-054, and who was just temporarily released from the penitentiary he’ll be residing in for the next decade or so.

During Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings, NBC “News” led its newscast with Swetnick’s totally uncorroborated, since-debunked charges.

You see, there’s no need to vet any salacious allegations against Republicans. Ready, shoot, aim.

Joe Biden, though, just wants to look ahead, to his presidency:

“We’re gonna finally achieve comprehensive immigration reform as well as put millions of citizens on a path to citizenship.”

Sounds like a plan.

“So I’m pleased to announce that Bernie and I have agreed to establish … six policy working groups, one on the economy, one on education, one on criminal justice, which should be reform not punishment, one on immigration, climate change and the economy.”

Could I be on the policy working group on the economy, or, if that’s full up, maybe the one on the economy?

Meanwhile, Sleepy Joe is still down in the basement, babbling about… something.

“But it seems to me that there is this sense that somehow again I keep getting back to this issue and I may be dead wrong about it is that there seems to be this this this this sort of gut feeling that government can never do anything as well as the private sector can do it so the better we let government keep out of this the better off we’re gonna be. I don’t think it’s just about, at least I’m not sure, obviously.”

May we quote you on that, Mr. Vice President?