RMV audit dodges blame

“Not my fault!”
There, I’ve boiled down the entire 107-page final “audit” of the Registry of Motor Vehicles’
horrible failure to pull the driver’s license of the career criminal non-citizen now charged with
killing seven motorcyclists in New Hampshire last summer.
Could anything have been more predictable than the hacks issuing their CYA report exonerating
the abysmal administration of Gov. Charlie Baker on Friday night? It was a bad-news dump in a
torrent of other bad-news dumps, both local and national, all of them designed for minimal
exposure.
In fact, this week’s Friday-night bad-news dump may well have been the biggest of the year, at
least until next Friday, which is the beginning of the three-day Columbus (er, Indigenous
People’s) weekend.
First, the increasingly grumpy 78-year-old Bernie Sanders confirmed what everyone had
suspected — that he suffered a heart attack in Nevada on Tuesday. Lucky for the Brooklyn
Bolshevik that we don’t yet have Medicare for All, or his supporters would be sitting shiva for
him already.
Then the fake Indian announced that her campaign had fired a member of a protected class
from her campaign for certain unspecified “inappropriate behavior.” (Was he checking the box
on some official form to falsely make himself appear a member of an even more privileged
caste?)
But let’s concentrate on the RMV’s “root cause analysis,” as they call it, of their failure to
suspend the driver’s license of the career-criminal Ukrainian as well as thousands more
scofflaws who committed all sorts of vehicular crimes, including drunk driving, and never had
their licenses suspended.
Let me boil down the “root cause” for the RMV’s abject incompetence to two words:
The hackerama.
Here are some of the conclusions of the “audit firm”:
“This policy spans multiple administrations.”
Translation: Not my fault!
The Registry “stopped processing out-of-state alerts in 2013.”
Translation: Not my fault! Tall Deval didn’t become governor until 2015.

In this final Friday-night report, we got an update on the volume of the undelivered out-of-state
suspension notices. They were stashed, as Tall Deval said, “in a room, in a room.” Now we get
the exact count of what was in that overflowing storage room in Quincy — “72 boxes, 53 mail
bins and five banker boxes.”
But the Registry had other, more pressing problems to deal with. Like, where they going to hold
their annual holiday popover-eating festival once Anthony’s Pier 4 closed in 2013?
You can assess just how seriously the horrific death of seven people was taken by how many
heads really rolled. A handful of Registry hacks quietly retired, but I count only two basically
forced out – a tubby Braintree town hack named Tom Bowes and the even tubbier ex-registrar,
Erin Devaney.
Devaney told the investigators that “she communicated processing difficulties” to various
superiors in the Baker-Polito hackerama.
Here is the list of her fellow payroll patriots whom Devaney claims to have informed of the
systemic breakdown, including their current annual salaries, which I include because none of
them have been fired:
Mindy D’Arbeloff, governor’s Needham high-school pal, $128,710; Stephanie Pollack, secretary
of transportation, $170,406; Jamey Tesler, the new acting registrar, $145,426; and Jacquelyn
Goddard, the DOT flack, $134,503.
For the record, D’Arbeloff and Goddard “do not recall” anything. Pollack “does not recall a
specific conversation.” Tesler vaguely “remembers a conversation.”
To summarize: Sgt. Schultz of Hogan’s Heroes fame would find himself right at home at the
Registry. Like everybody at the RMV, Sgt. Schultz knows nooooooothing!
D’Arbeloff, being the most protected of Tall Deval’s exposed coat holders, was allowed to
present a special alibi for not doing anything about all those boxes, mail bins etc. in the room.
You see, Mindy’s “focus at the RMV was on improving customer service at the Service Centers.”
Wouldn’t keeping “customers” alive by making sure that junkies, drunk drivers and career
criminals who’ve been arrested in at least five states – wouldn’t revoking the driving privileges
of such foreign fiends have been the absolute best kind of “customer service” the RMV could
have provided?
I mean, if you’re dead, it doesn’t really matter how long the waiting time is to renew your
license or registration, does it?

So, case closed. If anybody brings this up tomorrow at the State House, Tall Deval can shrug and
dismiss it as “old news.”
Can’t wait for Friday night – before a three-day weekend.
(Check out Howie’s latest podcasts at dirtyratspodcast.com.)