Graham Platner is getting tattooed

Graham Platner, don’t let them run you out of this US Senate fight!

Yes, you are embattled. Ja wohl! You’re reflecting, you’re reassessing….

But look at this way, Herr Oysterfuhrer. You are not the first would-be leader of the Fatherland to come under fire. Nicht wahr?

Der Fuhrer had his bunker. You, Graham Platner, you have your porta potty.

The outlook may appear bleak right now, comrade, but how do you think the Russian front looked in 1943? And yes, you are being taken out by apparatchiks of your own cult – Jake Tapper! Politico! – but this too is nothing new, Herr Platner.

Der Fuhrer’s own generals tried to kill him with that suitcase bomb in the Wolf’s Lair on July 20. They bombed you on July 6. Gott im Himmel!

Hang in there. Heil Platner! Heil P. Hustle!

This is so amusing, the humiliation of all his fellow travelers in the Democrat party. First Swalwell, now Platner. 

Both these Democrat degenerates campaigned on the Epstein files, and now both are confronted with credible charges of Epstein-like sexual abuse, to understate the case.

And now Platner’s groupies recant their incontinent sycophancy.

Democrat fluffer Jon Favreau, April 30: “He’s a good, decent man who’s struggled and grown and is always trying to do better.”

Favreau now: “Platner needs to drop out ASAP – these are awful, credible allegations.”

Sen. Elizabeth Warren in mid-May: “He’s my kind of man!”

The fake Indian now: “There can be no tolerance for sexual assault.”

Sen. Ed Markey, June 10: “We need more leaders in Washington who will stand up to corporate power, fight for working families… That’s what Graham Platner is fighting for in Maine.”

Markey now: “I cannot support his candidacy.”

Sen. Bernie Sanders in August 2025: “We need senators in Washington who are prepared to take on the billionaire class and fight for working people.”

Sanders now: “I have recommended that he step aside.”

Wow! Those Democrat frontrunners faded fast, didn’t they? The French army put up a more vigorous defense before throwing down their rifles after the Wehrmacht rounded the Maginot Line in 1940.

Oddly, all the above recent statements were released by the politicians’ offices. Nothing on camera, unlike their earlier gushing endorsements.

The truth is, the Democrats knew all along what this trust-funded preppie pervert was about – the Nazi tattoo, his presence on the predator website, the endless stream of racist, sexist, homophobic vitriol, etc. 

But they didn’t care. They just figured Platner was a big enough phony to oust Sen. Susan Collins. And that was all that mattered.

Collins has always run behind in the polls, only to pull ahead at the end. In 2020, Collins trailed Sara Gideon the entire campaign, sometimes by double digits, and then won going away on election day, by nine points. 

And Gideon didn’t have a single tattoo, Nazi or otherwise.

Platner started with a big lead too, but he started fading after the first stories. Every day the Republicans would drop one or two more of his X-rated bon mots from Reddit. 

The GOP operatives were holding the really vile stuff – Sen. Jon Fetterman has been speculating about what he called “dick pics” – until after July 13, when it was too late to replace him.

But even the drip-drip-drip of horrible comments was having its effect. My Maine listeners told me his signs were disappearing even in York and Cumberland Counties – heartland of the blow-ins.

The most recent poll I saw had Collins up by four, 50-46. Given her past form, Collins seemed headed for a landslide in November.

And so the Democrats put out a contract on Platner. Hey, nothing personal, pal. We gave you a shot – that New York Times story last month, it was what they used to call during Watergate “a modified, limited hangout.”

In other words, admit a few misdemeanors, and then, when worse turns up, as it inevitably would, you shrug it off as “old news.”

That worked, as long as Platner was leading in the polls. But once he fell behind….

Sen. Kristen Gillebrand June 10: “In November, Maine voters will elect Graham Platner, and we will win a Senate majority.”

Sen. Gillebrand now: “Graham Platner needs to immediately withdraw as the Democratic nominee.”

Sadly, he will most likely quit before the July 13 deadline. We’ll never see his Kik come-ons to young, very young women, or those grainy crotch selfies Fetterman was speculating about.

I was looking forward to seeing every porta-potty in Maine festooned with a Platner for Senate sign.

And what happens to those “Women for Platner” and “Grandmas for Graham” signs that all the post-menopausal hausfraus from out of state would hold up behind their ginger crush at the rallies in Orono and Brunswick and the other chi-chi college towns?

Now the Democrats will pull the old Kamala trick again. Nominate someone who didn’t even run, let alone get any votes in the primary last month. It probably won’t be enough to derail Collins, but whichever Democrat also-ran the party bosses pick will be immediately swooned over by regime-controlled media.

Just like they did with Platner.

Remember how some beta male reporter with a goatee who went to Brown trekked to Hancock County last spring and reported that Graham Platner’s oysters were the absolute best he’d ever had? Of course they were!

You know the worst thing about this whole disaster is for Graham Platner?

He got his Nazi tattoo covered up – for nothing.

David Duke could not be reached for comment.