Crime does pay in Massachusetts, at least for Democrat hacks

Who said crime doesn’t pay?

It most certainly does, at least in Massachusetts, and if you don’t believe me, just ask LaMar Cook.

He’s living large on welfare in Florida, that sunny place for shady people, and you don’t get much shadier than LaMar, but so what?

Look at all the wonderful things that have happened to Gov. Maura Healey’s beloved thug DEI aide since he was lugged for alleged distribution of 27 kilos of cocaine last fall.

While in jail, he got a $31,439 “buyout” from his dear benefactor, the governor.

Then he got his drug-kingpin bail reduced from $75,000 to $25,000 by a female Healey-appointed judge.

Then his mom won $650,000 from the Mass Lottery, following in the footsteps of a prominent cocaine-dealing relative of a Democrat politician named Bulger.

And now we find out that LaMar Cook, like so many thousands of other career criminals in Massachusetts, has a SNAP card – food stamps!

And so now LaMar Cook flops in Kissimmee, Florida, not that far from Disneyworld. The jokes write themselves:

“Hey, LaMar Cook, you just got arrested for allegedly trying to ship eight kilos of cocaine directly to Gov. Maura Healey’s office in Springfield – now where are you going?”

“I’m going to Disneyworld!”

LaMar Cook is not the exception to what happens to hacks in Massachusetts who misbehave. He’s how the hacks treat all their comrades – professional courtesy.

Most perps are told, “You have the right to remain silent.”

In Massachusetts, if you’re a Democrat who’s thisclose to the governor, what the comrades will really tell you is, “You have the right to remain solvent.”

Crime does in fact pay – very well in fact.

Back in the golden age of Hollywood, MGM had a popular series of short subjects called “Crime Does Not Pay.” They’re still available on DVD. It was on radio for years as well.

Today, though, Hollywood would have to totally update the concept. New working title: Crime Does Pay.

Or if not crime, then at least very bad behavior.

Here’s my pitch to Hollywood, my treatment, as they call it. I see “Crime Does Pay” as a multi-year series. Ripped from the headlines! Seeing as it’s Massachusetts, the reality series would probably last longer than The Simpsons or 60 Minutes – combined.

When LaMar Cook applied for his hack job, the State Police did their traditional thorough background check – wink wink nudge nudge.

It turns out, the head of the MSP “investigations” unit himself had a few problems, shall we say. In a federal civil trial, a jury had found him guilty of “malicious prosecution. The trooper’s female victim had gotten a $300,000 judgment, and another $366,000 for legal fees.

Was Det. Lt. R. Bradford Porter fired? Hell no! This is Massachusetts baby. After the story broke, he retired. His pension: $151,822 a year.

“Hey, Det. Lt. R. Bradford Porter, where are you going?”

“I’m going to Disneyworld!”

Sgt. Sean Goode of the Canton PD, Michael Proctor’s vile texting buddy. What price did he pay? An eight-month paid vacation, after which he was allowed to retire. Guess where he’s going.

“I’m going to Disneyworld!”

How about Judge Robert A. Welsh III, removed from the bench after his arrest for domestic abuse on a household member over 60. The State Police affidavit said he became abusive when he drank and told his victim he was “untouchable” because he was a judge.

Turns out he was right. Awaiting his, ahem, trial, Welsh’s is enjoying what amounts to a paid vacation, for $207,855 a year.

Then there’s Judge Shelley Joseph. She let a vicious illegal alien out the back door of her courthouse to save the Dominican cholo from being deported by ICE.

She was lugged, but once Democrats took over in 2021, the case was broomed. She was, after all, a former member of the Democrat State Committee from Brookline.

Indicted on a federal rap, her punishment was a three-year paid vacation and all her legal bills paid for the taxpayers.

If you’re a Democrat in Massachusetts and you get jammed up, you’re going away.

To Disneyworld.

This is why, in the hackerama, vacancies by death are few, by resignation, never.

And when you must finally raise your snout from the public trough, there’s an extra kiss in the mail waiting for you. That’s what LaMar Cook’s $31,439 payoff was all about. Maura Healey said she was shocked. She somehow managed to keep a straight face as she said it.

Doesn’t matter how badly they’ve behaved, all hacks get taken care of big-time on their way out the door.

Det. Lt. Porter, who “investigated” LaMar Cook so thoroughly, needed a wheelbarrow to get his $56,138.39 “leave buyback” out the door when he took it on the lam in January.

Ditto, Monica Tibbits-Nutt, the first lesbian of color from parts unknown to become secretary of transportation blah-blah-blah. Despite her impeccable DEI credentials, she had to go after the billion-dollar Plazagate scandal blew up in Maura’s face last year.

In addition to the usual severance “consulting” gag, Tibbits-Nutt pocketed $48,729.96 in buyback.

Now that I think about it, LaMar Cook is probably angry he didn’t get more than $31,439 walking-around money. Maybe if he had a photo of himself posing with his patron, the governor, when she was out there doing the 413 area code thing last year.

I’ve been told there is such a photo, and I’ve been calling around Hampden County looking for it for weeks, but no luck so far.

If you have such a selfie, LaMar, I’d suggest you put it out to bid. It is, after all, an election year.

In the meantime, have fun at Disneyworld. My only question is, can you buy yourself a Jumbo Turkey Leg with your Massachusetts SNAP card?

I’ll bet you can.

Crime does pay.