Taylor's Takes: Halloween has gotten out of hand

I know that it’s a common complaint every year: “The Halloween decorations at the store are out and it’s still summer!”

It’s right up there with “get off my lawn” as a signifier of older age and curmudgeonliness(sp?).

But there’s more than a kernel of truth to the complaint.

The common talking point is that Americans spend more on Halloween-related purchases than any other holiday besides Christmas. Walk into the nearest Home Depot or Lowe’s and you’ll immediately see why.

Halloween decorations have become big business. Life-size or even larger-than-life-size figures are available for purchase. And they come in all forms. From friendly-looking inflatable ghosts to fully articulating animatronic werewolves with realistic features and giant skeletons situated to look like they’re crawling out of a grave.

"Halloween decorations have become big business."

These decorations are intricate and detailed. Straight out of a horror movie. They cost several hundred dollars apiece and, judging from what I’ve seen on many a front lawn, people spend what seems like their entire life savings to make their house the spookiest on the block.

When I was a kid back in the 20th century, we put out a straw scarecrow and an orange bag packed with leaves painted to look like a jack-o-lantern and called it a day. A maximum of $20 was spent on autumnal décor, you found another purpose for a shirt you didn’t have use for anymore, and you got some yardwork done.

I’m not against being festive, but Halloween seems to have become a mental illness for some people. It enraptures their entire personality. They spend thousands of dollars on the most disgusting-looking decorations and dedicate tens, if not hundreds of hours to ensure they have the goriest, most horrific display.

Perhaps it’s my Protestant upbringing, but I find this behavior absolutely bizarre. What is the return on investment? What is the upside to buying the ugliest, most abhorrent lawn ornaments known to man? What is the apparent urge to celebrate evil?

I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, Taylor. It’s not evil, it’s harmless fun.”

I don’t have a problem with children dressing up as their favorite Disney character and going trick-or-treating. That’s part of the tradition. What I do have an issue with is trying to cultivate the scariest collection of monster and demon figures in order to elicit the strongest sensation of fear from those who dare to gaze upon them. At its core, the desire to stir fear is evil behavior.

Another thing. Why are these stores placing the most frightening figures at the front of the store for all to see, including young children? I get those are big-ticket, hot-selling items and placement moves merchandise. But I’m not impulse buying an 8-foot vampire. What I am doing is shielding my daughters’ eyes because they’re too young to realize that these monsters aren’t actually real.

And to you adults who are still wearing costumes on Halloween…. What are you doing with your lives? Unless you are dressed up in the same theme as your children to add to the magic of their holiday, there’s no reason a middle-aged person should be donning a costume of any kind. If you’re out of college and still planning on going to a costume party to get hammered and take home a woman dressed as a slutty nurse, you need to reevaluate the decisions you’re making.

To give Halloween a fair shake, I have similar problems with the Christmas-obsessed sect of the population, as well.

I’ll save that for another time, though.