I have a modest proposal.
Can we rename the COVID virus something more accurate, closer to what it really is?
My suggestion is that we start calling COVID… the common cold.
Or maybe “the flu.”
So now Labor Day has come and gone and the Bidens have wrapped up their month-long vacation. And wouldn’t you know it, on Monday evening, “Dr.” Jill tests positive for… the common cold, also known as COVID.
According to the White House, she is suffering from “mild symptoms.”
Again, a name change would seem to be in order. Instead of mild symptoms, can we call them “the sniffles?”
How convenient that now that Dementia Joe is supposed to be back at work, he has the opportunity to dodge even more public appearances, because he doesn’t want to expose anyone else to… his cold.
To repeat, the First Lady’s name is “Dr.” Jill. Physician, heal thyself. Oh, that’s right, despite what Whoopi Goldberg may believe, Dr. Jill is not an M.D. She can’t write you a script for some Oxys. She’s not even a Ph.D. – Piled Higher and Deeper.
She’s a Doctor of Education. In other words, she’s about as erudite as Karine Jean-Pierre.
The doctor has had at least four common-cold, er COVID shots – including boosters. Now she’s tested positive for the third time.
Is this like winning the Triple Crown? Or is coming down with the flu for the third time a “grim milestone?” Oh I forgot, grim milestones only occur when Republicans – especially Donald Trump – are in power.
Didn’t Joe Biden assure his no-info voters during the campaign that he would shut down COVID, but not the economy? So far it looks like he’s done exactly the opposite.
But Dr. Jill still won’t have ultimate COVID bragging rights at whatever trendy cocktail parties the Beautiful People are attending now they’ve fled the Vineyard.
Ex-Rep. Harold Ford Jr., the ex-Democrat congressman who now hobnobs with the RINOs on Fox News, recently came down with the flu for the third time.
And the retired solon has been vaccinated six times. Six times! Yet Ford said he’s planning to get his seventh shot ASAP, whenever the Deep State orders him to. Because that’s what comrades do.
Now that the summer is ending, it’s time for Democrats to ramp up the Panic again. The Democrats’ ballot-harvesting season – the election – is only 14 months away.
Plus, the public-sector unions are starting to get skittish. People who work for a living have finally noticed that very few government “workers” have in fact gone back to work since their all-expenses-paid vacations began in early 2020.
Michael Bloomberg, one-time Democrat candidate for president, wrote a piece this summer pointing out that only 22 percent of federal hacks in DC are showing up for work– “federal offices are mostly empty,” he wrote in the Washington Post.
Sen. Jodi Ernst of Iowa, a Republican, picked up the theme, saying federal job-holders (as opposed to workers) are “phoning it in.”
Again, we’re talking about Washington, where even before the Red Chinese unleashed the virus to defeat Donald Trump, even the forecast of snow flurries inside the Beltway would usually cause the entire bureaucracy to shut down for days, if not weeks at a time.
But now rush-hour traffic is a thing of the past, and not just in DC. Wherever there are a lot of government – or academic, or non-profit – employees, nobody goes to work anymore. Look at the numbers for public transportation – anywhere.
The Democrats’ core constituency is the non-working classes. Even many of the ones with jobs don’t work, thanks to their party’s weaponization of the common cold.
If he’s going to run for a second term, which I doubt, Brandon should forget about touting Bidenomics. Food prices are up 20 percent since he was installed in January 2021. Even his voters, ignorant and drug-addled as they are, have noticed.
Biden’s entire platform should be a promise that if reelected, he will bring back the COVID shutdowns. Democrats, he can say, you can go back to sitting on your rear ends, collecting big welfare checks, doing drugs and ripping off the assorted PPP programs.
The teachers’ unions would be all in, that’s for sure. They don’t pay Randi Weingarten $488,000 a year to go to work for those arduous nine months a year anymore.
Consider Dr. Jill’s “mild symptoms” this week as the latest trial balloon for the next panic, like Dr. Fauci’s endless tour of cable news, even after his alleged retirement.
One difference this time, though. Whenever the White House hacks issue the updates on her mild symptoms, they never include the once-traditional exhortation to “get the vaccine.”
That dog just won’t hunt no more. Even though Dementia Joe used to say that if you got the vaccine, you would never, ever have to worry about getting the virus again.
That statement is now inoperative, as they used to say in the Nixon White House.
This next edition of the Panic is just taking baby steps, though. You can see it in the missed opportunity at the US Open. Several of the world’s greatest tennis players have come down with something they’re calling “the US Open bug.”
The bug – there’s another potential great name change for COVID. The bug.
But I don’t see “the bug” as becoming popular in state-run media, if only because of the alliteration threat.
Once you start calling it “the bug,” it might quickly morph into “the Biden bug.”
If only they could blame it on Donald Trump. Again.
Post-script: As I was writing this, the White House announced that unless he’s outside or “socially distanced,” Brandon will immediately begin wearing a mask.
Here we go again.