I’d first like to apologize for going off the grid for the last several weeks. I have been dealing with a complex family situation that required 100% of my time and energy. I appreciate the understanding, as well as the numerous loyal readers who reached out to make sure everything was OK.
My father passed away on May 11th. He was an amazing dad and a beloved grandfather. He was a great American and leaves behind a legacy of love, friendships, and loyalty. My dad succumbed to a four-year battle with cancer. He passed away peacefully, surrounded by the people he loved the most. For that, I will be forever grateful.
I typically don’t write about overly personal things, but I feel strongly that this experience is worth sharing. My dad and our family have been through a lot over the last several months, and I personally experienced some extremely valuable learnings that I believe will benefit everyone. My pieces of advice below are in no particular order of importance, just what is at the forefront of my mind as I write this.
Cherish time with the people you love
My father’s passing glaringly exposed something I didn’t often think about or consider on a day-to-day basis. Life is not forever, and at some point, we will all die. The time we have with people we love should be cherished, as nobody knows when their time will come. Do the things you want to do now. Don’t wait. Maximize the amount of time you have with people you love and don’t let outside influences get in the way of what is most important in your life.
Get your affairs in order now
I was fortunate that my father had a good amount of things planned. He had a will. He completed all of the paperwork that gave me power of attorney over his financial and medical decisions, when needed. He had me added to the deed of his house. While I knew he did all of these things, I did not realize how much easier it made the entire process. If he hadn’t been proactive and planned for the worst, the experience would have been even more stressful and traumatizing. Trust me, you do not want to leave that burden on your children.
Our healthcare system is an embarrassment to America
Over the last few months, I received a master’s class in how elderly people are treated and what we will all face as we age. My dad was on Medicare and had a good supplemental insurance plan. The biggest challenge came when my Dad needed long-term care and eventually hospice. Medicare doesn’t cover long-term care. They do cover the medical side of hospice care, but if you’re in a hospice house, Medicare does not cover room and board. Room and board in both long-term care and hospice runs close to $500 per day. That was a shock to me and required us to make some significant financial decisions in order to get my father the care he needed and deserved. If you aren’t familiar with how all of this works, I would highly encourage you to do some research and plan for the worst.
Complexities and red tape make the experience even worse
If my dad didn’t have family there to help him navigate all of the paperwork and planning, I don’t know what would have happened to him. The red tape and nonsense associated with caring for our elderly in America is a complete disaster. Elderly people with a terminal illness should not have to worry about anything. They have worked their entire lives and contributed to our economy, Medicaid, and healthcare system, and deserve better. Be prepared for a complex web of chaos that is designed to work against those in need. It’s disgraceful.
People who care for the elderly are angels
I had the opportunity to meet some of the most amazing people throughout my father’s battle with cancer. I can’t say enough about the people who cared for my dad at the Elliot Hospital, Solinsky Center for Cancer Care, Bedford Nursing and Rehabilitation, and the High Pointe Hospice House. People choose to work in these much-needed roles, and they should be recognized and honored for what they do every day. In many cases, they are working with limited resources, but do their best to care for our most vulnerable citizens. It was inspirational to witness firsthand, and I am humbled by what you all did for my dad and our family. I would especially like to recognize Dr. Curtis Quinn, who helped give my father many extra happy and fulfilling years.
Thank you again for your understanding as I worked through this challenging period of time. I am officially back in action, full throttle.