Another week, another round of Police Blotter Fax.
If you missed this week’s episode, you can catch it here:
Check out these some of the sickest and slimiest crime reports from across the nation (and, sometimes across the pond) submitted by listeners like you.
- You’d think 39-year-old Dawn would be familiar with substance laws.
- Move over, Rover! We know you can’t reach the gas pedal.
Wild Moment Naked Man Attacks Miami Gym-Goers After Trying to Use Exercise Equipment and then Launches Punches at People on the Street after Being Ejected [VIDEO]
- Rookie mistake. There’s more surface area to be tased if you aren’t wearing clothes. Next time, he should try Planet Fitness. It’s a judgement-free zone, you see.
Ex-NYPD Detectives Indicted for Stealing Nearly $3K in Booze from VIPs at Electric Zoo Music Festival
- We just need to…uh…confiscate this…very expensive sparkling wine…for poison checking!
- Ma’am, it’s called fast food, not flash food!
- The journo failed to mention that he stopped in the Gator-ade aisle to grab a beverage on the way out!
- Clean-up on aisle five!
Cops: Woman Defecated On Church Altar [MUGSHOT]
- 26-year-old Laura Miniard clearly misunderstood what the “presentation of the gifts” means.
Want to try you luck in next Friday’s feature? Send your best—and worst—headlines to email@example.com!