John Forbes Kerry should just swear off ever speaking again about private jets, at any time, in any context, anywhere.
America’s Gigolo can make a pluperfect ass out of himself on just about any subject, but private jets really bring out the worst in Liveshot, who turns 80 this year.
Now Kerry’s done it again, defending his use of a “private” jet – actually, it belongs to the State Department – while endlessly lecturing the rest of us on the necessity of traveling by bicycle or ox cart or donkey.
This time it was in an interview with a Yahoo News reporter.
The scribe mentioned the obvious incongruity of the smug, virtue-signaling billionaire class jetting off to, say, Davos, to denounce the utter selfishness of the plebeians. You know, those greedy deplorables who like to keep their ranch houses and double-wides heated at 68 degrees all winter, and who don’t want to rely on the T to do their grocery shopping every weekend.
The reporter began, “People are starting to pay more attention but when, you know, people who go to Davos to talk about climate change fly private it seems like they don’t want to –“
At this point Kerry interrupted. He’d heard enough from this serf, this parvenu, making snide remarks about the likes of his dear friends Bill Gates and George Soros and Klaus Schwab.
“Well,” Kerry sniffed, “they actually, I’ve to talked to them about it. They offset. They buy offsets. They offset and they are working harder than most people I know to try to effect this transition.”
In other words, it’s much more arduous and wearying for John Kerry to be jetting around the world from one five-star Michelin resort to the next than it is for you to be waiting for that wheezing bus that never arrives, or to take the Orange Line and have to jump in the Mystic River when it catches fire.
Remember when Kerry flew to Iceland in 2019 to pick up an award for his support of whatever it is they’re calling the weather this week? A reporter asked him why, if he cared so much about the planet, he was creating all those tons of carbon emissions by flying private.
“It’s the only choice,” Kerry said, “for somebody like me.”
As opposed to, say, somebody like you or me.
“The time it takes me to get somewhere, I can’t sail across the ocean. I have to fly to meet with people and get things done.”
Because, you know, his time is ever so much more important than our time. People like us don’t have to do anything significant with our lives. Or at least not anything nearly as important as whatever it is John Kerry is up to.
“What I’m doing almost fulltime is working to win the battle of climate change. I’m not going to be put on the defensive.”
That’s what you think, Gigolo Boy. When you’re explaining, you’re losing.
And by the way, how much faster do any of his personal jets, public or private, fly than the airborne cattle cars that pass for commercial airliners?
And when he arrives at whatever sunny place for shady people he’s visiting this week for his taxpayer-funded fine dining and wining experience, do you think he takes the airport shuttle bus to the local Motel 6? Or is there a limousine to his presidential suite at the Ritz-Carlton?
We know of course why Kerry despises flying commercial – for the same reasons all of us do. Recall his distaste when he was forced to deal with the hoi polloi on Southwest and Jet Blue, back in 2021, during the Panic. How many times did he get busted for not wearing his absurd mask?
Those horrible days are behind Liveshot, now, and he’s never going back to a place where some damnable public-school graduate can whip out his smartphone and embarrass him.
Not while he’s globe-trotting off to meet Macron and Schwab at the next wine-tasting to save the planet.
What makes Kerry’s “offsets” alibi more amusing is that recent reports indicate that those carbon credits he’s touting are, just like every other scam he pushes, a complete waste.
A far-left newspaper in the UK, the Guardian, did a study, and here’s the headline from January:
“Revealed: more than 90% of rainforest carbon offsets by biggest certifier are worthless, analysis says.”
That report came out the same week that the Beautiful People gathered in Davos to brag about those same “offsets.” At that same event, Kerry was on a panel with a 20-year-old climate activist from Ecuador, whom Liveshot identified as being from Brazil. Facts are stubborn things.
If you know history, you can see the similarities between “offsets” and what were known in the Middle Ages as “indulgences.” Those were a religious scam, a clerical grift that allowed sinners to be excused by penance or, uh, good works. You know, like paying off some priest as your atonement, as a short cut out of purgatory.
The Reformation started over the abuse of such “indulgences.” Martin Luther was all bent out of shape about them. Rich people were abusing indulgences as an excuse for their rotten, selfish behavior, just like 500 years later, Kerry et al. are doing the same thing with… offsets.
We’ll never know if those 16th-century indulgences kept sinners out of hell. However, now we have studies showing that offsets don’t mean anything.
But what does John Kerry care? As he said at yet another five-star resort last year, he only supports “high-integrity” offset programs.
For years now, on my radio show, I’ve been running my own high-integrity offsets program – Honest Howie’s Carbon Credits.
If you send cash to Honest Howie, you will get back a hand-written note from a polar bear at the North Pole thanking you for saving his ice floe. Just last year, Honest Howie expanded his carbon-credits racket to the South Pole, complete with thank-you notes from the penguin of your choice.
If John Kerry really wants to be taken seriously with his “offsets,” he’d better invest in some of Honest Howie’s Carbon Credits. Money talks, BS… flies private.