Hack heaven for judges now clerk magistrates

Even suspended Judge Shelley Joseph could see a bump

The hackerama says no state gas tax suspension for all you Massachusetts drivers who’ve been going to work every day since the Panic was ginned up more than two years ago.

No tax relief for you damn Deplorables, but now the Legislature proposes to give 12% pay raises to all the payroll patriots in the courthouses, which have been pretty much shut down for the last two years.

But none of the payroll Charlies have missed a single paycheck, and I’m looking at you, suspended Newton District Court Judge Shelley Joseph, who was indicted in 2019 by a federal grand jury on charges of, among other things, obstruction of justice.

She’s accused of letting a Dominican illegal career criminal drug dealer escape out the back door of her courtroom instead of turning him over to a federal immigration cop because … fundamental transformation of America.

Did I mention that she’s a former member of the Democrat State Committee from Brookline, which is just one of the reasons why this pampered snowflake was appointed to her hack sinecure by Gov. Charlie Baker?

Awaiting trial, she’s been suspended with pay — on vacation, in other words — while pocketing $184,694 a year.

Now, this accused criminal wokester will be getting a pay raise of $23,161 — up to $207,855 a year.

She was doing the Lord’s work, after all, freeing an undocumented Democrat to continue his Third World crime wave against law-abiding, taxpaying American citizens.

The hoodlum jurist gets an extra $23,161 a year, but they won’t suspend the 23-cents-a-gallon state gasoline tax on people who work for a living.

The hacks in the House of Representatives call this heist “Judicial Pay Equity.” What a scam.

But wait, there’s more robbery going on at the courthouses. You know the clerk magistrates, who may have been showing up a little more often than the black-robed banditos over the past two years? They’re all hacks too and like the judges they are seriously underworked and overpaid.

Under state law, clerk magistrates make 81.57% of what the chief justice of the district court makes.

Right now that amounts to $155,084 a year, but if — when — the pay raise goes through, they’ll all be pocketing an extra $18,600 or so a year.

Who are the clerk magistrates of Massachusetts? Lt. Gov. Karyn “Pay to Play” Polito is thisclose to most of the younger ones, who all did the right thing by her and Charlie Baker.

But many of the clerk magistrates who will be getting more money have been interred in the empty courthouses for decades, forgotten but not gone.

Consider Arthur Tobin of the Quincy District Court. This pay raise will make for a very happy birthday for Clerk Tobin on May 22. He’s turning 92.

You see, there is no mandatory retirement for clerk magistrates. So why would they quit? Especially during the last two years when the courthouses were basically shut down (not that anyone was ever exactly overworked even before the Panic).

Another clerk magistrate who’s looking forward to his pay raise is Sal Paterna of the Dedham District Court, 83 years young.

Then there’s Harry Shultz of the Newton District Court, where Judge Joseph let the illegal alien drug dealer out the back door. He’s 81.

William Lisano of the Lowell District Court beat an assault rap against his wife in Burlington when he was a young whippersnapper of 74, and he’s still going strong at the age of 81.

Then there’s Joe Faretra of the East Boston District Court, where the governor’s son A.J. would have normally faced charges after the alleged assault on a young woman on a JetBlue flight, if only the case hadn’t been booted over to the federal courthouse, where it vanished without a trace.

Clerk Faretra is just coming into his prime at age 80.

This judges’ pay raise also amounts to a slobbering wet kiss for some of the solons’ septuagenarian former colleagues. Those extinguished, I mean distinguished ex-state reps who are now clerk magistrates include Ed Teague of Falmouth District Court, age 72, and Bill Nagle of Ware District Court, a youthful 71.

Just think about all these hacks. After so many of their contemporaries have retired, they’re still, well, working may be too strong a word for what they’re up to at the courthouses, but they are still getting paid, and now they’re going to be making more More MORE money!

But don’t they deserve something after these two tough years for everybody who has a job (not to be confused with work) at a state courthouse.

Do you know how much an in-season Caribbean island vacation has gone up in cost since the Brandon administration took office? Do you think suntan lotion has been exempt from Biden’s supply chain crisis? And it costs a lot more to get to the ski mountains now that Joe Biden is shutting down domestic energy production — hacks don’t get a discount at the pumps, you know, although I’m sure they think they should get one.

But again — no extra money for you, you damned MAGA-hat wearing cis-gendered Irredeemable church-goer. You are not a Beautiful Person. You’ve never been indicted for obstruction of justice.

They’ve paid a price these last two years, all these courthouse slugs. You know how when a kid goes off to college they’re often said to put on “the freshman 15.”

If you know any of these hacks, check out their waistlines. Fifteen pounds? Most of ‘em have put on more like 30-40 pounds since the Faucist takeover of 2020.

Once this latest round of hack pay raises goes through, it’s gonna be a big night … especially for the early-bird specials that our ancient hack clerk magistrates so enjoy.

If you’re a hack, not only is there a free lunch, there’s also a free breakfast, and a free dinner.

But no tax relief for you at the gas pump, you damn bitter clinger.