There is no shortage of news today. First there was President Trump’s epic Press Conference, then there was the news that CNN will be renaming themselves Very Fake News. THEN, the big whammy…John Kerry found a new job!


Alright so it might not be the most exciting news of the day but just wait until you hear what it is.

Unfortunately it doesn’t involve marrying a wealthy heiress, although his resume certainly prepares him for that.

The Former Secretary of State is going to be the first-ever Distinguished Fellow for Global Affairs at none other than his Alma Mater, Yale University.

But for all the moonbats out there- fear not. Mr. Mrs. Heinz has not ruled out a run for President in 2020.

“I haven’t been thinking about it or talking about it. I haven’t ruled anything in or anything out.”

Before you start gawking or thinking Oh my God. He’ll be like a gazillion years old , I’ll have you know he will only be 77. And besides he is a really strong guy.

No obstacle, girly bike, or even door has ever been able to stop him before.

In the meantime, he will be hosting “The Kerry Conversations” at Yale.

I’m going to be so pissed if Yale gets James Taylor for their spring concert this year. My college could only book Avicii and he just pressed buttons on a computer. UGH. #HowSweetItIsnt