Chelsea Clinton has been in the news a lot recently.

As I’m sure you read in the New York Times (HA!) she is releasing a children’s book called, “She Persisted.”

The title was inspired by Mitch McConnell who, in describing Fauxcahontas’ refusal to give up her talking stick on the Senate floor, said this:

The words became a rally cry for every woman looking to tat her backside with something other than a butterfly.

But leave it to a Clinton to monetize the moon bat slogan. Cha Ching. No word on whether or not she will share the profits of said book with Lizzy Warren.

This just in, survey says no.

There have also been rumors that the daughter of America’s Most Crooked Couple may run for office in 2020. I know what you’re thinking. But Grace, what are her credentials?

Well first of all, back off y’all. Chelsea has held a number of jobs/super well-paid internships in her 37 years of living. Alright you judgmental ignoramuses?!


In fact, the news site Medium did a nice little piece detailing some of Ms. Clinton’s “jobs”.

My personal favorite is their description of her job at NBC:

Chelsea somehow managed to get a job at NBC as a “special correspondent.” For this job, she got paid $600,000 despite producing less than 23 minutes of aired content. As Business Insider notes, this means Chelsea “earned about $26,724 for each minute she subsequently appeared on air.”

They also describe her jobs at hedge funds, Expedia and of course the distinguished Clinton Foundation*.

*Of course it was a nation-wide search. Did you even have to ask?

But the American people shouldn’t care about how much money Chelsea has pocketed over the years. After all, she certainly doesn’t. In an interview with Fast Magazine, Clinton was quoted as saying, “I was curious if I could care about [money] on some fundamental level, and I couldn’t. That wasn’t the metric of success that I wanted in my life.”


Caring about money is so passe. I told this to my landlord on rent day and surprisingly he was not as on board with Chelsea’s sentiment but whatevs.


If you’ve managed to stomach this much of the article, I’m impressed. So impressed in fact, I’m going to throw this last chunk of gag-worthy news at you because I think you’ve earned it.

Chelsea Clinton will be receiving an achievement award by Variety magazine for her humanitarian work. I hope she adds that to her LinkedIn rezzie because that is definitely going to help her land her next gig.