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The bad news is, it looks like Willard M. Romney is running for political office again.

The good news is, he’s not doing it here in Massachusetts.

In its own way, Mitt’s refusal to exit gracefully is as pathetic as Hillary Clinton’s last-gasp attempt to maintain her own relevance. They have strutted and fretted their hour upon the stage, and it’s about damn time both of them were heard no more. Talk about a tale told by an idiot….

What was it the late Dick Tuck said after losing an election:

“The voters have spoken, damn them!”

Romney used to be governor of Massachusetts, although when he was running for president (twice) he tried to go back to being from Michigan, and after the 2012 election he moved to La Jolla, although he was most often photographed on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire, and now I guess he lives in…Park City, Utah.

Any port in a storm, right Willard?

The Utah Senate seat is currently held by 83-year-old Orrin Hatch, but Mittens is trying to muscle him aside. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. It’s the classic Mitt m.o. – locate the nearest Republican, elbow him!

Locally, recall Jane Swift, Fat Matt Amorello, the late Christy Mihos, Jim Rappoport and John Lakian, among others. Granted, most of these GOPers got exactly what they deserved, notably Lakian, who ended up in prison, BOP #85674-053.

But compare Mitt’s beatdowns of his fellow Republicans to his obsequious behavior around Democrats. When he was attacked first by Ted Kennedy and later by Barack Obama, Mitt instantly fell to the ground, whimpering, and went into the fetal position.

Likewise, as governor he never said boo when crooked Democrat House Speaker Sal DiMasi (BOP #27371-038) took him to the cleaners on a near-daily basis at the State House.

Mitt liked to think of himself as Dudley Do-Right, but he had a glass jaw. Think about it – what is the most memorable utterance of his political career?

“I’m running for office, for Pete’s sake.”

That’s what Mitt said to his landscaper in Belmont when he found out the guy was using illegal aliens to mow his lawn. It sums up Romney’s whole political persona. He didn’t care about the actual wrongdoing, only about the perception.

In 2012 he groveled to get Donald Trump’s endorsement – even flew to Vegas to kiss his ring. Then four years later he ripped Trump to shreds. Because it meant he’d get good John McCain-like coverage from all the Democrat operatives posing as journalists on TV.

Then after the election, he crawled to Trump Tower begging to be Secretary of State. But he quickly reverted to form, attacking Trump for correctly pointing out (as did The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal) that both sides in Charlottesville were responsible for the violence.

And now this two-legged political weathervane wants to go to the Senate. Maybe he’ll end up in a primary against his fellow Trump hater Evan McMuffin, I mean McMullin. Those debates would be even more amusing than Mitt’s 1994 faceoff against Lakian, when the future jailbird called Romney “Mr. Mormon.”

ROMNEY: “I hate Trump so much I complimented antifa and said that Trump calling out those cowardly trust-funded thugs ‘may commence an unraveling of our national fabric.’”

MCMULLIN: “But you didn’t have the stones to run against Trump, did you, Governor? Even your predecessor Bill Weld did more to try to defeat him than you did.”

Of course Mittens would prevail. But the question is… what exactly would he be winning? A six-year ticket to political Palookaville. He sure wouldn’t be another Mike Lee. More likely he’d resemble a butch Susan Collins.

What’s the end game here? Does Mitt just want to run to keep Orrin Hatch’s seat warm for his own son Josh Romney in 2024? But isn’t there talk of Josh running for governor of Utah in 2020?

Nah, I think this Senate fight is all about Mitt. Again, stop me if you’ve heard this one before. He ran for the Senate once, and lost. He ran for president twice, and lost. He’s got one “W” on his permanent record, the governor’s fight in 2002, and he was about to lose that one until Shannon O’Brien offered to show her tattoo to the late Tim Russert.

Willard Mitt Romney, a legend in his own mind. Run Mitt run. As long as you don’t do it here.

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Howie Carr is the New York Times best-selling author of The Brothers Bulger and Hitman, in addition to several other Boston organized-crime books and two novels. He is the host of a New England-wide radio talk-show syndicated to more than 20 stations, and is a member of the Radio Hall of Fame in Chicago.

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