How can we miss him when he won’t go away?

Last night in Chicago, Obama was lucky he didn’t throw out his shoulder from patting himself on the back so much.

To paraphrase Dan Hicks in his song: We keep telling you day after day/ But you won’t listen, you always stay and stay/ How can we miss you when you won’t go away?

By the way, is the speech over yet? How many first-person references did he have to make to himself before he won the bet?

Did you hear him mention “the quiet dignity of working people?”

How the hell would he know? He doesn’t know any working people, except as “deplorables” or “bitter clingers.”

Sadly, Obama forgot to mention so many of his greatest accomplishments:

Fast and Furious… the IRS’s persecution of the Tea Party… millions of illegal aliens on welfare… 333 rounds of golf (and nine days left!), 217 days of vacation (costing $95 million)… the VA… one in 20 adult Americans on “disability”… 95.1 million Americans out of the work force… an additional 10.7 million Americans on food stamps….

You want more numbers? A health-care plan that cost $3,750 in 2015 would cost an average of $5,250 this year. As Dave Barry described the so-called Affordable Care Act:

“If you liked your doctor, maybe you’ll like your new doctor.”

It was one last lecture from the guy who has had everything rigged for him almost since the day he was born, a nakedly partisan left-wing ideologue denouncing “naked partisanship.”

He had his family there, well, most of them. I didn’t see Uncle Omar. They must not have had an open bar.

“Hello Chicago,” he began. “It’s good to be home.”

Home? His first lie, at 9:02.

He talked about the Republic – “the great gift our Founders gave us.”

Surely he meant to say, the Muslim founding fathers. Remember the apology tour through the Mideast in 2009. Osama Ben Franklin. John al Adams. How’d that work out for us – or them?

“We have shown the capacity to change.”

As we did on Nov. 8. And now, Jan. 20 will mark the end of an error, an era of error.

Ten minutes in, he finally got around to blaming Bush. In a rush, Obama mentioned how he “shut down Iran’s nuclear capacity without firing a shot.” Yeah, right.

Then he mentioned “marriage equality.” Perhaps you recall, he was for gay marriage before he was against gay marriage before he was for gay marriage. And last night he took credit for… flip-flopping.

You were supposed to overlook all those little, you’ll pardon the expression, white lies. Like his repeated bows to “the rule of law,” as if he and Eric Holder and Lois Lerner and Tim Geithner and the rest of them cared in the slightest about the law.

“We remain the wealthiest, most powerful nation on earth.”

No thanks to you, pal.

“The unemployment rate is near a 10-year low.”

That’s because 14.9 million more Americans have given up looking for jobs in his socialist-strangled, red-tape-ruined economy.

At 9:17 he lamented the fate of the middle class. As if he hasn’t been president for these last eight dismal years.

“We’re going to have to forge a new social safety net.”

We? You’re outta here, Bub. Elections have consequences, as somebody once said. Like life, as the Bard would say, a politician’s but a walking shadow, that struts and fret his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more.

Alas, Macbeth never knew Obama, although he predicted last night’s speech – a tale told by an idiot.

“They’re not demanding special treatment but the equal treatment that our Founders promised.”

Is affirmative action equal treatment?

At 9:28, “take the subject of climate change.” Please. Didn’t he say in 2008 that his election would mark the beginning of the receding of the allegedly rising sea levels? Now it turns out the problem is worse than ever, or so he says. Go figure.

“Violent fanatics who claim to speak for Islam.” He still can’t bring himself to call them terrorists. But hey, ISIS is just the junior varsity, right Barry?

At 8:32 he mentioned Fort Hood, and for the first time he didn’t call it “workplace violence.” A sop for the irredeemables, “the middle-aged white guys,” as he so condescendingly called people who actually work for a living.

How can we miss him when he won’t go away.

Howie Carr is the New York Times best-selling author of The Brothers Bulger and Hitman, in addition to several other Boston organized-crime books and two novels. He is the host of a New England-wide radio talk-show syndicated to more than 20 stations, and is a member of the Radio Hall of Fame in Chicago.