The Democrats are looking for a few good bumper stickers.
Sadly, though, the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) seems as hopelessly inept at creating memorable bumper stickers as they have been at winning special House elections this year.
Last week, the DCCC sent out bumper-sticker proposals to their contributors. Among them: “We Resisted, She Persisted,” and “Democrats 2018: I Mean, Have You Looked at the Other Guys?”
Those are just pathetic. It used to be that Democrats could coin a memorable phrase. Back in 1963, Democrat Gov. George Wallace of Alabama captured the nation’s attention when he thundered out:
“Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!”
Back then, Democrats knew who they were – racist thugs. Now they’re afraid to level with the voters about. You ask them about their not-so-long-ago Senate majority leader (and KKK Exalted Cyclops) Robert Byrd and they shrug and say, “Robert Who?”
What once was the party of the working class has morphed into the party of the non-working class. An effective bumper sticker should “brand” the modern Democrat party:
“A New America for New Americans.”
“Press 2 for English – Vote Democrat.”
“Merry Christmas – Bad! Allahu Akhbar – Good!”
“Do As We Say, Not as We Do.”
“Honk if You Believe Benghazi Was Caused by a Video.”
“Ask Me About My Pink P-word Hat.”
“Vote Hillary – 33,000 Deleted Emails Can’t Be Wrong.”
Republicans stand for certain issues. For instance, an effective GOP slogan last year was “Drain the Swamp.” Why are Democrats too timid to boldly stake out the opposite position? Start with a bumper sticker plainly demanding: “Refill the Swamp.”
Republicans want to “Build the Wall.” On the other hand, Democrats are 100 percent committed to transgender bathrooms. They believe that’s the path to restoring their electoral majority. So how about this for a Democrat bumper sticker:
“Build the Stall!”
Bernie Sanders’ supporters are still angry about the dirty tricks Hillary and CNN used last year to rob their wrinkly hero of the presidential nomination. That’s why they’ve been stabbing and shooting people these last few weeks. The party must now reach out to the surly, violence-prone Bernie Bros. in their own language:
“Vote Democrat – We’re Gunning for You.”
Mostly, Bernie Bros. want free stuff. Taxes? They don’t pay no stinkin’ taxes! Way back when, Democrat Huey Long’s slogan was “Share the Wealth,” but that now seems quaint, archaic – too polite, almost voluntary.
Bernie Bros. want free stuff and they want it NOW! Think James Hodgkinson. Bumper stickers reaching out to Bernie Bros must address their rudeness and utter lack of manners.
“You want it? We got it! You got it? We want it!”
“You make it, we take it!”
“Vote Blue if a Job Ain’t for You.”
“Let’s Make the Safety Net a Hammock.”
How about a campaign to remind the electorate what the Democrat party has accomplished? Remember the old organized-labor theme: “From the people who brought you the weekend.”
So the Democrats can have a series of bumper stickers: “From the people who brought you…”
Fill in the blank: EBT cards, Obamaphones, sanctuary cities, Sect. 8 housing, drive-by shootings, the War on Poverty, drivers’ licenses for illegals, SSI, the Immigration Reform Act of 1965, Sonia Sotomayor, “I Did Not Have Sex with That Woman, Ms. Lewinsky…” etc. etc.
Sometimes ad campaigns rework a successful theme from yesteryear. Remember how Obama brilliantly sold Obamacare with these simple statements: “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. If you like your health plan, you can keep your health plan.”
Now the deplorables are somewhat skeptical, to put it mildly, of the Democrats’ commitment to gun rights guaranteed by the Second Amendment. Here’s a bumper sticker guaranteed to address the problem:
“If you like your Second Amendment, you can keep your Second Amendment.”
And if all else fails, the Democrats should just print a new bumper sticker reminding everyone of the theme that has worked so well for them over the years:
“It’s STILL Bush’s Fault!”