Dementia Joe Biden is taking a slide this week until Thursday night’s final two-on-one-is-Democrat-fun debate against President Donald J. Trump.
Joe’s exhausted, after enduring the hard-hitting questions to which he has become accustomed, most recently as he left an ice cream shop in Durham, N.C., Sunday holding a milkshake.
“Mr. Biden! Mr. Biden!” the crack scribe asked. “What flavor did you get?”
“One vanilla and one chocolate,” Biden said forthrightly.
Then a real reporter tried to ask Biden about the FBI grabbing the laptop of his crackhead son Hunter Biden, but Joe just waved him off.
Biden, also known as “the Big Guy” and “Pop” in all those emails about shakedowns and kickbacks, has no response to any such impertinent inquiries.
Even worse, though, was the reaction of the other reporters to Dementia Joe’s stonewalling. They laughed — at their fellow reporter, for having the temerity to ask a real question.
Asking real questions of a Democrat? That’s not the way to get hired by a network, buddy. It’s a better career move by far to become a fanboy for a hack Democrat politician, like Jake Tapper or Chuck Todd or George Stephanopoulos or at least be married to a coatholder, like Savannah Guthrie.
Joe may be under wraps right now. But don’t worry, as he sits in the basement in Wilmington binge-watching Matlock and slurping down tapioca pudding, we’ve got plenty of recent Biden sound. Once again, he’s talking about his plans for health care.
“An independent analysis found that my plan will slash the cost of prescription jugs by 60%.”
Prescription jugs again!
Another recurring Biden topic: masks, and POTUS’ aversion to same.
“How many times on television you see him make fun of Biden wearing a mask?” Three second pause. “Because he ‘fuses….” Another long pause…. “…to practice social distancing.”
Trump doesn’t “refuse” to practice social distancing. He “’fuses.”
“For example,” Biden elaborated at a different event, “I walked in here with this mask but I have one of the M95 masks underneath it.”
Most people wear N95 masks, but Joe prefers M95’s, just like he’ll take an “AR-14” when everyone else reaches for an AR-15. That special M95 designer mask helps him fight off the “Luhan” flu as well as the “N1H1” virus.
Where is that mask now, Mr. Vice President?
“I left it in in uh the, in in my dressing room, the dressing room, the the third room I was in before I got here.”
Joe knows almost as much about law enforcement as he does about public health. Once again last week, he was instructing police on how to collar, say, a knife-wielding perp.
“So instead of anybody comin’ at you, the first thing you do is shoot to kill, you shoot ‘em in the legs.”
Or in the shoulder, or you just shoot the gun or whatever out of the peaceful protester’s hand. Always worked for Hopalong Cassidy.
Joe is also an expert on community policing.
“They’d actually go and give cops their phone numbers. A cop would give the phone number. So if Nellie Smith was on the second floor where drug deals took place and things happened uh uh below her apartment she could call and say it’s Millie and there’s something going on here and they’d never reveal it was her because if they know she knew that in fact they’d report she’d never report the crime she’d never report.”
But Joe, why would Nellie Smith identify herself as Millie — oh never mind.
You know how the “fact-checkers” are always out in force whenever Trump says something that seems even a little off?
Well, it was just reported that last month in Michigan Biden told a union group that despite everything he’s said in the past, under his soak-the-middle-class tax plan nobody would get hammered unless they made “more than 400,000 bucks, which is more money than I’ve ever made.”
Liar, liar pants on fire. He made more than $15 million in 2017-18.
Then last week Biden was asked (by Stephanopoulos of all people) about his flip-flopping on another issue, fracking. Steffie mentioned how the Boilermakers Union wasn’t buying his “evolving” on the issue.
“The Boilermakers overwhelmingly endorsed me, OK? So the Boilermakers Union has endorsed me.”
Can I get me four Pinocchios over here?
So the debate’s tomorrow night, and the big controversy now is over the “mute” button the Democrats have insisted on deploying against President Trump, as a test run I guess for what they plan to do to everybody in the country come January.
Just remember that — this week they came for Donald Trump’s free speech, but next year … .