We Could Use a Government Shutdown

Thank goodness the federal government didn’t “shut down.”

Think about it — if the U.S. government wasn’t operating for even a few days, think of the terrible consequences for all the foreign freeloaders flopping amongst us.

Just ask Vinicius Santana, age 35, born in Brazil and then shipped off to a life of leisure in Revere. After his multi-million-dollar heist from Uncle Sam, Vinicius took on the lam to Boca Raton with his ill-gotten gains.

If anyone can speak to the incredible beneficence of Uncle Sam, it would be Vinicius Santana, even from his new home in Club Fed.

Vinicius is (thus far) the biggest scam artist convicted in Massachusetts of stealing federal COVID welfare funds under the Payroll Protection Program (PPP).

PPP is the fraudulent scam welfare program that the feds set up in 2020 after the Red Chinese unleased the Wuhan Red Death on the world.

If there was no federal government, there would be no PPP. And there would be no millionaire criminals like Vinicius Santana.

His single mother brought Vinicius Santana to Revere from his Third World birthplace. He is a tenth-grade dropout and a jailbird. He was dishonorably discharged from the Air Force and imprisoned “after he was charged in an incident in which another military member was shot,” as his own lawyer admits.

So it was only natural that the feds would allow him to steal $2.5 million.

When all the COVID “relief” programs were set up, it was like blowing a dog whistle for every con artist and flim-flam man – and not just American citizens either. (No mention is made of his citizenship status in his sentencing memorandum.)

Do I need to point out that, if the government shuts down, who will the next Vinicius Santana be able to rob and steal from after he sneaks into the United States and doesn’t want to work for a living?

In 2017, Vinicius started something a painting company called “Complete Home Care LLC.”. In 2020, he heard that Uncle Sam was giving away free money, so he got in line, lickety-split.

In his first application for free money on April 10, 2020, Vinicius Santana falsely claimed he had five employees and a payroll of $10,000 a month. He wanted the gringos to give him $25,000.

He was turned down. Two weeks later, he filed two more fraudulent PPP applications. Now he claimed he needed $45,000 for his five fictitious employees, whose monthly pay had somehow increased 80 percent – to $18,000 a month.

Both new applications were summarily rejected, so on that very same day, Vinicius Santana decided to try to shoot the moon.

In his fourth application for welfare, he claimed that CHC had not 5, but 154 employees.

Its monthly payroll was not $18,000 a month – it was a million bucks.

And instead of demanding a handout of $45,000, now Santana begged for $2.5 million – as the feds noted, “140 times larger than the requested loan in the three unsuccessful applications.”

Guess what – once he upped the ante, Vinicius’ $2.5-million welfare payment was instantly approved. It was wired to his account at the East Boston Savings Bank, which at the time had $60 in it.

Nobody noticed nothing. Because… federal government.

Once he had stolen the $2.5 million, Vinicius Santana began spending it in just the ways career criminals always do.

He wired $825,332 and $185,900 to two different companies, both of which then cashed their windfalls at the same check-cashing business in Marlborough.

He then paid off car loans of $7,861.12 and $9,681.

Then he bought himself a 2019 Toyota Highlander for $29,471.

Three weeks later, he bought a $90,000 Audi in Burlington.

A couple of weeks later, he wired $900,000 from his bank account to a crypto-currency exchange.

In December, he purchased a house in Lowell for $407,587.

Bottom line: life is sweet if you’re a Brazilian flim-flam man. But only if the federal government is giving you millions upon millions of fraudulently-obtained dollars.

Which is why we must all be so thankful that the “shutdown” has been avoided, at least for a few weeks. Because God forbid that Third World career criminals shouldn’t be able to steal $2.5 million from law-abiding American citizens, even for a brief moment.

Sadly, though, Vinicius Santana has now been sentenced to 29 months in prison. Finally, the feds woke up and lugged the foreign freeloader.

In his sentencing memorandum, the greed-crazed Brazilian played all the usual cards that Democrats always do when caught red-handed with their hands in the till. Stop me if you’ve heard any of this before.

Vinicius comes from “humble beginnings.” He was a “shy child.” His USAF dishonorable discharge was “an abrupt departure from the military.”

He entered a “dark period.” He “contracted COVID-19.” (Oh no!)

But he has “a caring and committed girlfriend, Zsofia Szepesi.” He “developed a knack” for making money. (No kidding!)

Sitting around home after the Panic began, doing absolutely nothing like most newcomers to our land, Vinicius heard about the PPP. He quickly figured out how to scam the americanos.

“This money,” Santana’s sentencing memorandum sadly notes, “quickly proved itself to be a curse rather than a blessing…”

To look at it another way, stealing $2.5 million can be a blessing. Getting caught, however, is the curse.

“In the end, he failed to enrich himself at all.”

Depends on how you look at it, I suppose. Vinicius is still going to be getting three hots and a cot for the next 29 months, compliments of Tio Sam. In other words, he’s still on the dole. Looks like not that much has really changed for the Brazilian gunman.

“Mr. Santana gained little and lost much through his crimes. This is the quintessential case of money not buying happiness. Instead, the funds that Mr. Santana obtained only brought him distress, the near ruin of his company and a prison sentence. He did not obtain a life of luxury through his theft.”

Has it been that bad for the senor? Even though he’s the biggest PPP thief in the history of the Commonwealth, he’s still been permitted by the feds to go on two nice vacations to Florida.

“(These) have been the happiest moments of Mr. Santana’s life since being arrested.”

This is why the federal government must never, ever shut down. Because otherwise, how would Brazilian-born thieves be able to go to Florida on vacation?

To update the old bumper sticker, Keep working, millions of foreign felons like Vinicius Santana are depending on you.

(Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or amazon.com.)