It’s a three-day Weekend at Biden’s, and not a moment too soon for Dementia Joe.
Let’s start with his exhortation for everyone to do his or her “fair share” on what he calls the “Build Back Pletter” welfare handout plan.
All dialogue guaranteed verbatim.
“I’m tired of trickle down. The trillionaires and billionaires are doing very, very well.”
Um, Mr. President, could you give us the names of some of the trillionaires so we could ask them how well they’re doing?
One of his recent themes is the need for more vaccinations.
“The booster line uh is, uh if you’re fully vaccinated, the bottom line is, if you’re fully vaccinated….”
One of his more amusing affectations is that he can identify with everyday Americans who he claims are worried about their children coming down with the virus (which is extremely unlikely to happen, but never mind the facts).
Here is Biden pretending to be a parent sitting around the kitchen table (where he assumes everything happens).
“By the way, I I don’t know you know I I I I’m just not sure I want you know uh my son or daughter to uh uh to be going into school when so many people are not vaccinated I mean you know it’s it’s just you know you know I’m not sure I want Kenny to be there doing this but there’s a practical things people are talking about …”
Around that same kitchen table, the parents may also worry that they soon won’t have any money for Kenny since they’re going to be fired for not getting the vaccination.
Biden’s trillionaire pals in the business world — including from local company “Rayathon” — are very happy about his announced (but not yet issued) mandate, because now they can start firing those damn deplorables.
Getting rid of those who refuse to submit, Biden assured the trillionaires, is good news.
“Let’s be clear,” Dementia Joe said, “when you see headlines and reports of mass firings and hundreds of people losing their jobs, look at the bigger story.”
Dementia Joe’s never been one of those pols who remembers everybody’s name, but he’s getting worse all the time.
In Wisconsin, he couldn’t come up with the name of the either the governor or lieutenant governor, so he tried to cover up by ad-libbing how the male number-two “uh covers her in every way, both in terms of physically and mentally and every other way.”
In Illinois, the governor is J.B. Pritzker and the lieutenant governor is Juliana Stratton. Dementia Joe referred to both “J.P.” and “Priskie,” then introduced J.P.’s second-in-command as “Julius Stratton.” The two senators he mentioned as “Dick Durbin and Tammy.” No last name for Sen. Duckworth.
Then he abruptly mentioned “the Ohio Pennsylvania the Ohio Pennsylvania I’m from Pennsylvania.” But then, earlier in New York, he had called the United Nations “the United States.” He also talked about the UN’s “founding aythos.” (Ethos?)
In Illinois, Dementia Joe switched gears on the next name he had to read.
“And uh and Robert Reiter Reeter Reeter R-E-I-T-E-R Rereiter Chicago Federation of Labor, and folks that’s how we beat COVID-19 by working together.”
For some routine appearances, he now stumbles across the street from the White House to what amounts to a studio in the Executive Office Building where he can read absolutely everything, without teleprompters being visible.
It doesn’t do any good. Since our last installment, he has mangled more words. As he reads his lines, “instead” becomes “insped.” Work force is “weak” force. The company Pfizer becomes “visor.” He announces a proclamation, but pronounces it “procloration.”
He sees the word “China” and reads it as “climate.”
The debt limit is the “damolit.” “Carve out a place” becomes “carve out a piece.” “Bitter sting” is mangled as “bitter string.”
In U.S. military jargon, the greatest level of preparedness is called “DEFCON 1.” Anyone who’s ever seen a big-budget movie knows this. Except maybe Dementia Joe.
At a meeting, he asked one of his visitors, “Let me ask you uh the DEFCOM 10 question….”
He remembers things that didn’t happen – “when I first started the vaccination program.” He slurs his words, especially when talking about his (and son Hunter’s) benefactors in China. When he mentions the Reds’ “coercive” methods, it comes out as “co-osha.” “Share of” becomes “sheriff.”
More and more, he babbles out interminable Grandpa Simpson-like stories, always ending them, “To make a long story short.” One this week involved a group of Alaskan “big guys” (yes, he used that phrase) whom he compared to “Hoss Cartwright and his family.”
Except that Biden forgot the name of that iconic western series, “Bonanza,” and seemed to think that Hoss was the Lorne Greene father character, not the middle son.
Dementia Joe also recounted a story about, well, you try to figure it out:
“When you build a jargee (charging?) station like back in the day when my grand-pop worked for the ‘Murican oil company back in the turn of the in the 19, 1920 in that area they had went from state to state convincin’ people that they put, allowed ‘em to put, 20,000 gallons of gasoline under the ground they didn’t want them around, but guess what happened everything builds up around them.”
May we quote you on that, Mr. President? Can someone shout, “DEFCOM 10!”