Don’t you hate it when you and your married girlfriend are trying to engineer a coup against the duly elected president of the United States, and your wife busts you and threatens to hire a keyhole peeper and call your mistress’s cuckolded husband?
Meet Peter Strzok, the fired crooked FBI agent. And now all his lovey-dovey texts with his galpal are in the public domain, and his squalid, corrupt Deep State life is like an old country song.
Livin’ Here, Lovin’ There, Lyin’ In Between.
I’m telling you, they’re not cranking crooked G-men out of the Boston office like they used to. H. Paul Rico, who died in a prison hospital in Tulsa, and Zip Connolly, who’s still doing life in a Florida penitentiary on a different organized-crime hit, would have never gotten caught with their, uh, pants down like Strzok did.
To refresh your memory, Strzok was the agent so crooked he needed a corkscrew to get into his trousers in the morning. He was the pluperfect modern G-man — his specialties were paper shuffling, pencil sharpening and fetching coffee for Jim Comey and Andrew McCabe.
Strzok was the Democrat charged with double duty in 2016: a) brooming the Hillary Clinton espionage investigation so that she could win the election, and b) framing candidate Donald Trump on the Russian collusion hoax, using Clinton’s fake dossier.
Nasty business, fixing presidential elections and setting up a coup, but that’s the FBI’s dirty mandate — functioning as the Democrats’ secret police as the nation was turned into a banana republic. The G-men were framing everybody who wasn’t on the team. Just ask Gen. Michael Flynn.
The evil Democrat/FBI edifice of Strzok, Comey, McCabe et al. is about to come tumbling down — the report on the FBI’s abuse of the FISA court warrants is to be released Dec. 9. The Flynn conviction will likewise be thrown out.
In the meantime, we now have a teaser, an appetizer of the impending mega-humiliation of Strzok and the rest of his crooked, incompetent FBI.
See, Strzok has sued to get his phony-baloney job back, which forced the Bureau to file in court their own report on his shocking misconduct.
A lot of the report involves the tens of thousands of texts Strzok exchanged with his married girlfriend, an FBI lawyer named Lisa Page. The FBI first tried to delete them, but they’re not making crooked G-men as slick as H. Paul Rico and Zip Connolly anymore. The Inspector General found them, and now they’re in the public record.
You’ve read the texts the lovebirds sent one another about how much they loathed Trump, and loved Clinton, and their “insurance policy” to destroy the Republic. But now we also have a sampling of the sweet nothings they were whispering in one another’s ears.
Let’s go to page 13, texts from April 4, 2017, between Strzok and his girlfriend. Mrs. Strzok has just realized what’s been going on, and is on the phone, trying to reach the trollop to give her a piece of her mind. Strzok texts his squeeze.
Strzok: (My wife) has my phone. Read an angry note I read but didn’t send you. That is her calling from my phone. She says she wants to talk to (you). Said we were close friends nothing more.
Page: Your wife left me a vm. Am I supposed to respond? She thinks we’re having an affair. Should I call and correct her understanding? Leave this to you to address?
Strzok: I don’t know. I said we were close friends and nothing more. She knows I sent you flowers, I said you were having a tough week.
What a drag it is, when you’re trying to frame a duly elected president of the United States, and you get busted for playing doctor with the shades drawn!
Strzok must have been asking himself — WWBCD? What would Bill Clinton do? Guess we know what he’s having for dinner every night now — hot tongue and cold shoulder.
Here’s the final verdict on Strzok from the FBI’s Office of Professional Responsibility:
“Your inappropriate text messages … caused immeasurable harm to the Bureau’s reputation with DOJ, other government officials, and the American public… The level of hypocrisy seen in your conduct is staggering… an enormous embarrassment to the Bureau…Your vituperative text messages will be the subject of damning public discourse for days, months and even years to come, and the FBI will be recipient of the expressed outrage.”
Hey FBI, wait until the IG’s report hits Dec. 9. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
(Check out Howie’s latest podcasts at howiecarrshow.com.)