Stormy Daniels? Read our lips: we don’t care.
Tonight’s the night that the former porn “star” will be appearing on 60 Minutes to reveal what we already knew, that she had a, gasp, consensual extramarital affair with Donald J. Trump more than a decade before he became president.
Stop the presses!
Since Thursday, the See BS television network has been running non-stop promos for their big scoop on all the March Madness college basketball games. And the two fake-news cable channels have been running more Storm(y) coverage than The Weather Channel.
This time, they breathlessly pant, we’ve finally got him. Don Lemon, Rachel Maddow et al. are like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner. They’ve pried open a crate from Acme Adult Films Co., and out pops Stormy, star of, well, you can look up her curriculum vitae at iafd.com.
Forget the three years’ worth of earlier failures to take Trump off the board – Megyn Kelly, John McCain, Access Hollywood, recounts, “Russian collusion,” faithless electors, the emoluments clause, the 25th amendment, etc. Once again the pantywaists of the alt-left media think they’ve finally backed Trump into a corner.
He cheated on his wife! No president has ever done that before except for, uh, like, er… never mind.
Let’s go back 20 years in time. The moonbats’ hero, Bill Clinton, groped Kathleen Wiley, exposed himself to Paula Jones, raped Juanita Broaddrick and sexually harassed his employee Monica Lewinsky.
And all the Democrats said was that it was… just sex. Nothing to see here folks. Moveon.org.
But now, they’ve convinced themselves that a consensual affair will bring down POTUS, a guy who 30 years ago, in the midst of the first of his two divorces, was on the front page of his hometown tabloid described by his soon-to-be-second-wife as “Best Sex I Ever Had.”
Trump was so shamed he had that front page framed and hung prominently in his office in Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue.
Here’s the problem for the Trump Derangement Syndrome crowd betting the ranch on Stormy: none of us deplorables expect Trump to be a moral exemplar. Never have, never will.
Two years ago, before he got his primetime show on Fox, Tucker Carlson described the phenomenon of devout Trump-supporting Christians watching the future president “doing a ludicrous imitation of a faithful Christian, the least holy roller ever. You wonder as you watch this: How could they be that dumb? He’s so obviously faking it.”
But of course they knew, we all knew – everybody, apparently, except the talking heads on MSNBC and its ratings-challenged fellow traveler CNN.
“Evangelicals,” Carlson pointed out in Politico, “have given up trying to elect one of their own. What they’re looking for is a bodyguard, someone to shield them from mounting (and real) threats to their freedom of speech and worship. Trump fits that role nicely, better in fact than many church-going Republicans.”
Does Trump screw up sometimes? Damn right he does. Signing that catastrophic budget bill Friday was only the latest example. I don’t know what was worse, funding Planned Parenthood or NPR. Except for defense, Trump caved to the Deep State pretty much across the board. At the signing Friday, the president looked as disgusted at the capitulation as his 63 million voters.
But guess what? Trump still has one major advantage among all those bitter-clinging irredeemables who voted for him in 2016.
He’s not Hillary Clinton.
Just when the Democrats finally think they’re getting some traction, Hillary always reappears, like a bad penny. Last week, she gave yet another interview, attacking Trump personally, instead of married white women or Macedonian troll farms or whoever she was putting the blast on the week before.
“He always wants to be the center of attention… the constant train wreck that never goes away,” she said, once again utterly oblivious to the fact that every knock on Trump perfectly describes herself and her horndog husband.
“He has undermined the office and used it to enrich himself and his family, disregarded laws, ethical standards, has been undermining the institutions from the free press to the judiciary.”
Undermined the office? Her husband was impeached for perjury and obstruction of justice. Enriched his family? Ever hear of the protection racket known as the Clinton Foundation? Undermine the free press? During the campaign she said publicly that the First Amendment had to go, using the code words “Citizens United.”
When your most implacable foes are Hillary Clinton, Nancy “Crumbs” Pelosi, and Chuck U. Schumer, what’s another Stormy Daniels, more or less? Ditto, Karen McDougal, the ex-Playboy bunny warming up in the bullpen. If you prefer brunettes, Karen’s your gal, and she’s definitely ready for her close up, Mr. DeMille.
I mean, the Democrats with press passes are so excited by this parade of loose women that the other night, one of the CNN talking heads suggested that Trump had made some announcement in order to take the focus off the millionth or so Karen McDougal “exclusive” on the Clinton News Network.
Really? Has anyone at CNN checked their ratings lately? If they had, they’d realize that Anderson Cooper’s audience is a lot closer in size to Sponge Bob Square Pants’ than it is to Sean Hannity’s.
Anderson Cooper asked one of the bimbos the other night, “Did he use protection?” Hey, Anderson, did Bill Clinton? Oh, that’s right, you’ve never interviewed Juanita Broaddrick, have you?
But now it’s almost time for the moment that may finally get 60 Minutes a few viewers under the age of 80. This could be 60 Minutes’ biggest scoop since Dan Rather’s Texas Air National Guard story about President George W. Bush back in 2004, which was so big it, uh, er, never mind….