Have you noticed that the more we pay our state legislators, the dumber they get?
The latest example is Rep. Michelle DuBois, D-Brockton, who this week complained that somehow, the statue of Gen. Joseph Hooker outside one of the entrances to the State House is demeaning to women because, well, like, hookers, or something.
Let’s not get into the etymology (to use one of the many words the extinguished solon doesn’t know the meaning of). Who knows why the powers that be recently felt compelled to put a sign under the bust-out Union general’s statue with the words, “General Hooker Entrance.”
Confusing, right? I mean, if the State House has a “general” hooker entrance, a visitor might reasonably conclude that somewhere there might exist a “special” hooker entrance to the building, you know, for women like Stormy Daniels.
Now, this DuBois is the same solon who last year tried to give a heads’ up to all the illegal alien criminals in her district that ICE raids might soon be coming down, although they weren’t. Maybe that’s where Oakland Mayor Libby Schaff got her bright idea.
You know, Brockton politics used to be associated with dodgy families like the Creedons, who were always getting into jams and scheming how to pass their hack sinecures down to their brothers, or wives, or, more recently, their nephews.
But compared to Rep. DuBois, the Creedons — Clerk Bob and Judge Mike and Rep. Geraldine and all the rest of them — look positively Churchillian.
Someone once said that the legislature is America’s native criminal class. In retrospect, those were the good old days. Crooks have a certain low cunning that has all but vanished in this era of six-figure no-show jobs on Beacon Hill.
Say what you will about the now-indicted ex-Sen. Brian “Multiple Choice” Joyce, but he was old school – if he wanted something, he didn’t wait to have it spoon-fed to him, like he was some kind of domesticated pet. No, any shiny object Multiple Choice Joyce coveted, he went out and stole it himself. Or so the federal indictment says.
People used to complain that there were too many lawyers in the legislature. Well, at least lawyers support themselves, as do morticians, bar owners, insurance agents, realtors, etc., all of which legislators used to be.
No longer. Most reps now list their “profession” as “legislator.” Yikes. I’d be more impressed if they claimed their trade was “Patriots fan” or “people person.”
Rep. DuBois is typical of this new breed. But how is her ignorance any worse than that of, say, Jen Benson of Lunenburg, who at a candidates’ forum once explained that it was the Supreme Court that granted women the right to vote. (No, it wasn’t.)
Then was Rep. Sarah Peake of Provincetown, who complained about an old oil painting at her local town hall of the Pilgrims and the Indians signing the Mayflower Compact. Her gripe – there are no women casting ballots in the picture. (Hey Sarah, it was 1620, 300 years before the Supreme Court, or somebody, approved women’s suffrage.)
Then there was the state senator, I believe it was Mike Barrett, who denounced a resolution honoring only the “men” who served on destroyer escorts in World War II. Why, he demanded to know, were not the women on the destroyer escorts being commemorated as well? Uh, perhaps because there weren’t any.
These pols are dopes. They weep on the floor of the House. They say that global warming, whatever that is, can be solved “if we have a strategy as part of state law.” (Thanks for sharing, Sen. Marc Pacheco.)
Welfare debates are always an occasion for the local statesmen to make fools of themselves. Do you recall a Rep. Tom Conroy of Wayland, who said no one should worry about the epidemic of fake Social Security numbers being used to obtain fraudulent handouts? It was merely human error, he claimed, caused by social workers’ “fat fingers” on the keyboards.
Rep. Ruth Balser of Newton denounced attempts to crack down on using welfare cash on non-essential items.
“If a poor woman wants to go to a job interview and she needs to put on lipstick, she’s not going to be able to.”
Lipstick? As if a lot of gimme girls are going out on job interviews. And should they also be allowed to use their EBT cards for, say, tattoos?
Anything about welfare recipients really drives these hacks over the edge – could it be a professional courtesy-type thing? Last year, during the debate over their 40 percent pay raises, one rep raised the specter of solons on food stamps. I kid you not, food stamps.
Then there was then-Rep. Carlos Henriquez of Dorchester, complaining about still another attempt to get a handle on welfare fraud, saying, “We’re spending a dollar to chase down a dime.”
This was right before the local constabulary chased down Rep. Henriquez all the way to the Billerica House of Correction for using his girlfriend as a punching bag.
Speaking of prison, last week another jailbird ex-rep, John George of Dartmouth, left his cell at Devens to plead guilty to one more felony, obstruction of justice. When he was first convicted, the 71-year-old Democrat (Bureau of Prisons #96202-038) told the feds he only had $28,000 in cash. His numbers were a little off, $2.5 million to be exact, which the G-men found stashed along with some Rolex watches in assorted safe-deposit boxes in New Bedford and Fairhaven.
Let me tell you, if Rep. George ever once considered the Hooker statue, it was only how to figure out how to turn it upside down and shake it until the change fell out of Gen. Hooker’s coat pockets.
BOP #96202-038 understood the three eternal rules of life on Beacon Hill.
Nothing on the level. Everything is a deal. No deal too small.
Sadly, now only the brains are too small.