Listen while you read:

Emotional support alligator, once in the running for America’s Favorite Pet, is missing: ‘Bring my baby back’ – Fox13

Cops: Handcuffed Man, 73, Hit Officer With “Forcibly” Thrown Cheeseburger – The Smoking Gun

Man found with apparent gunshot wounds says he “fell on a stick” – WDBJ 7

Police Fine Girl Scout $400 for Selling Cookies on Her Grandparents’ Driveway – The DailyFetched

Fearless monkey gang tear down anti-monkey posters in terrifying town uprising – The Star

Man appears in court naked over ’emotional support’ cat going missing – RTE

Florida man dons dress, blond wig in attempt to evade cops after boat theft – NY Daily News

Villager escapes DUI conviction after drinking and dancing at town square – The Villages Crime

Man Nabbed For Fried Chicken Battery On Sister – The Smoking Gun