Listen along while you read these crazy stories:

20-year-old clocked at 199 mph in dad’s Camaro with camera in window, Florida cops say – Miami Herald, Mark Price

Police: Woman, 28, Busted For Battering Her Mother With Grits – The Smoking Gun

Woman allegedly stole thousands of dollars worth of gum in Orange County – KTLA5, Vivian Chow

Penn State professor who begged cops to kill him when he was busted in bestiality case is hit with new charges of lewd acts in park – NYPOST, Yaron Steinbuch

Highly intoxicated man arrested after found drinking beer at library – The Villages

Canada drug dealer offers ‘free samples’ of cocaine stapled to business cards – NYPOST, Katherine Donlevy

Mummified monkey remains were found in luggage at Boston’s airport – NPR, Juliana Kim