Willard Mitt Romney has spent his entire life looking for new rear ends to smooch — at least as long as they belong to Democrats.
So, when the junior senator from Utah (by way of Michigan, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and California) stops puckering up for Dementia Joe Biden, you know that there’s a big problem at the long-term care facility formerly known as the White House.
Because Mitt Romney is the quintessential front-runner’s front-runner.
For more than a year, he’s been groveling before the doddering, senile, old codger. But now he pulls out the shiv and shanks his pal. Which is his m.o. Willard is either at your feet or at your throat, as a French politician once said of the Germans.
This was at a Senate hearing this week at which Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas was trying to explain the Democrats’ policy of national suicide down on the Southern border.
“Secretary Mayorkas,” Mittens began, “uh, you know I think any unbiased person would say that the Biden administration’s border and immigration policies have been nothing short of a monumental uh uh disaster uh and uh and were there not so many other disasters that the administration is encountering it probably would be by itself enough for a government to be hanging by a thread.”
Kinda like Mittens’ recent poll numbers in Utah, come to think of it. As for “monumental disaster” — that could be the epitaph for Romney’s own lackluster political career.
Until this week, Dementia Joe was Mittens’ latest crush. When it comes to Democrats, he’s like an abused spouse, always crawling back for more on the assumption that this time it’ll be different.
Think what the Democrats have said about Romney over the decades. He’s a racist, he killed his employees’ wives, he’s an income tax deadbeat, he’s a religious nut, he hates poor people, he’s a bully, he’s a homophobe, he abused his Irish setter Seamus.
It’s happened so many times. And Willard never learns that ten-on-one is Democrat fun. He was stunned that the CNN debate moderator against Obama wasn’t on the level. Why, he always shakes hands with them!
His crush on Biden lasted longer than most, because Dementia Joe was running against the guy Willard most despises — Donald Trump. Because Trump did what neither Romney nor his father could ever do — get elected president.
Trump is also a Republican — that didn’t help matters, needless to say.
When Willard was running for the GOP nomination in 2012, he flew to Vegas to get Trump’s endorsement. After Trump’s victory in 2016, Mitt flew to New York to beg for the secretary of state’s job.
But then, as is his wont, Mitt turned on Trump. In both bogus “impeachment” trials, Mitt voted to convict Trump. Before that, he publicly announced last year that he would not be voting for Trump.
“I would not be voting for Trump again. I have not voted for him in the past.”
As if we didn’t know. After the election, a Democrat operative with a press pass on CNN asked him if he’d voted for Dementia Joe.
“I’m not gonna talk about my vote. That’s now in the rear-view mirror. I’m gonna talk now about how I can work with the new president.”
By the way, Mittens was shocked that anyone would want to investigate Hunter Biden’s money-grubbing globe-trotting on behalf of “the Big Guy” — “that’s not the legitimate role of government,” the RINO senator harrumphed.
Of course not. Laying bare the Bidens’ corruption would hurt a Democrat, and Mittens will have none of that.
Biden and Romney go back a long way. Remember how, in 2012, Biden told a Black audience, in a condescending Amos ‘n’ Andy dialect, “He’s gonna put y’all back in chains!”
Not that he can always remember Mitt’s name — “We were running against the senator who was a Mormon, uh, the governor, okay? And I took him on.”
But once Mitt made it clear that he’d vote with the Democrats whenever it was necessary, Biden decided to reciprocate the bum-kissing.
“I spoke with a guy I have enormous respect for, enormous respect for, and I ran against him, Mitt Romney. I spoke to Mitt this morning again, this is a man of enormous integrity, enormous integrity.”
Mitt’s a cheap date. After the election, Mitt slobbered over Biden’s alleged “goodwill and admirable character.” How about that inaugural Mitt? “I thought it was very strong and very much needed.”
As for Trump? Mitt opined that he “recklessly inflames destructive and dangerous passions.”
But now Biden and his pandering plutocratic Park City poodle are splitsville. Biden’s catastrophic administration is obviously dragging down Mittens’ popularity in Utah. So at the Senate hearing, Willard also blasted the Biden administration’s mad scheme to give even more welfare to illegal immigrants — $300 a month per person, if their new “infrastructure” bill passes.
“We’ll be paying the illegal immigrants $300 per month for each and every one of their children!”
Mittens is shocked, shocked that the Democrats want to subsidize Third World crime and sloth and dependence. He thought Joe Biden was a man of honor, as he put it. He thought Biden was on the level.
So Mitt Romney’s abandoned ship. That’s the bad news for Dementia Joe. The good news? Charlie Baker is still on board with the Biden agenda — 1,000%. Of course he is.