What a covfefe for Elizabeth Warren – I’m talking about her tweet storm Monday night her after her political self-immolation earlier in the day, releasing the evidence that proved once and for all that she is a fake Indian.
Apparently freaked out by the scorn and ridicule suddenly being heaped upon her by everyone, Democrats and Republicans alike, she went crazy, tweeting 26 times in 74 minutes.
And it wasn’t even after midnight, which is when most people embarrass themselves on Twitter, after a bad ice cube or two.
Former Sen. Scott Brown was once involved in such a “bghatevwr,” back in 2013. Remember that one?
The fake Indian started sending up her smoke signals at 6:59 p.m., after eight hours of what President Trump last year described as a “constant negative press covfefe.”
“We all know why @realDonaldTrump makes creepy physical threats about me, right? He’s scared.”
What is she talking about? If POTUS had threatened her, I think we would have heard about it – a few million times, in the fake news media.
“He’s trying to do what he always does to women who scare him: call us names, attack us personally, shrink us down to feel better about himself.”
Us? Us? I am reminded of an old joke involving the Lone Ranger and a certain Native American named Tonto, the punchline of which is, “What do you mean ‘we’, Kemosabe?”
Three minutes later, at 7:02, she was back on the warpath.
“Bottom line: My heritage played no role in my hiring – ever. The @BostonGlobe reviewed all the evidence.”
You know, the same Boston Globe that couldn’t even get the math right on their big scoop, maybe because they didn’t want to cop to the fact that she is very likely only one/1024th… not even Native-American, but Peruvian.
And by the way, she’s never been accused of leveraging her “heritage” to obtain jobs she had no business getting. It’s her fake heritage she’s been using.
At 7:09: “I won’t sit quietly for @realDonaldTrump’s racism, so I took a test.”
So did Christine Blasey Ford. But I digress…
“But DNA & family history has nothing to with tribal affiliation or citizenship, which is determined only – only – by Tribal Nations.”
Oddly, this fact was never mentioned by the fake Indian or her Globe rumpswabs until after the Cherokee Nation had pit the blast on her about an hour earlier.
At 7:15: “Speaking of family stories, @realDonaldTrump has one, too. It’s the story of a second-generation tax cheat….”
This one is really rich. Two weeks ago, she was busted by me, for claiming that she donated $50,000 worth of used clothes to charity. Fifty grand! When I called her on it, she blamed it on an “entry error.” Takes one to know one, as we used to say on the Mohawk Trail.
But you see where the fake Indian was going with all this, right? She’s busted, so she must change the subject. So it’s no longer about her decades of lies and fraud, it’s about that old Sixties question: Which side are you on?
Who are you going to believe: Donald Trump or the fake Indian?
Randy Newman once wrote a song about Lester Maddox, the governor of Georgia. The redneck narrator is angry that a New York crowd is laughing at Ol’ Lester, so he defends the Democrat pol by saying, “Well he may be a fool but he’s our fool.”
The new lyrics for the fake Indian would be: “Well she may be a fraud but she’s our fraud.”
At 7:17, in tweet four, she calls Trump a “cowardly elitist.” This, from a woman who bought her mansion with an interest-free loan from Harvard, who made $350,000 a year for teaching one course.
Tweet 10, at 7:37: “He pretends to love law enforcement – but attacks his own Justice Dept, attacks the American hero who led the FBI after 9/11….”
Tweet 11, 7:39: “He demands military parades in his honor but cheats our veterans out of charitable donations….”
Is this the same woman who stiffed the most vulnerable etc. out of $51,000-plus between 2009 and 2016 by not checking the (other) box, on the Mass. State income tax forms to pay taxes on her million dollars-plus income at the old Dukakis rate? And then this year, but running for reelection, she suddenly sees the light and pays the extra money?
Seven minutes, four tweets later: “Oh, and one more thing: @realDonaldTrump likes to pretend he’s a tough guy. But like most bullies, he sure scares easy, doesn’t he?”
Scares easy? As you read these endless stream of comments, do you get the feeling she “scares easy?”
Tweet in haste, repent at leisure. Never let your tweets write a check your rear-end can’t cash. But these Democrats don’t care – they keep accusing everybody else of what they themselves are guilty of.
Tweet 17, 7:51: “And you know what scares him the most? Us. The American people. He’s afraid we’ll see him for who he really is and expose the con he’s been running.”
Really? The fake Indian is accusing someone else of running a con It would take a heart of stone not to laugh.
Tweet 21, 8:06: “I’m ready to reverse the trillion-dollar tax scam –“
She’s ready, in other words, to raise your taxes. Not hers, yours, she’ll keep taking those “entry error” $50,000 tax deductions.
Tweet 22, 8:08: “We’ve got to work as hard as we can between now and Nov. 6 to tune out the lies….”
I’d like to, fake Indian, but you just keep tweeting at me.
Tweet 23, 8:10: “At the end of the day, I trust the people of Massachusetts to look at the fact about who I am… and make their own judgment about me.”
Or, as Ted Kennedy said in his address to the voters after he killed Mary Jo Kopechne in 1969: “And so I ask you tonight, the people of Massachusetts, to think this through with me. In facing this decision, I seek your advice and opinion.”
Somebody stop her before she tweets again. No, actually, don’t take her smartphone away from her. The more of these covfefes and bghatevwrs she can get into, the better for the rest of us.