Karen Read case the Twilight Zone of trials

Hos long until this trial is over, and Karen Read can begin suing all the drunk, shiftless, overpaid lying state hacks who enjoyed yet another paid holiday Wednesday?

We’ve all seen movies about innocent people being framed. You know what the difference is between the cinematic lynch mobs and the drunks stumbling around the courthouse down in Dedham?

In the movies, the bad guys know what they’re doing. They may be evil, but they’re smart. In Norfolk County, not so much.

Where to even begin? How about with the fact that yesterday, with great fanfare at the State House, Gov. Maura Healey was signing a bill making the dissemination of “revenge porn” a crime in the Commonwealth?

Yet at the very moment she was signing the legislation, her fellow delegate to the Democrat national convention, DA Meatball Morrissey, was playing voicemail messages of a drunken, obscenity-spewing Karen Read to the dead man that had zero bearing on the crimes she’s charged with.

It was nothing more than “revenge emails,” and done for the same reasons as revenge porn – to humiliate and demean an innocent female.

Not only did the voice mails mean nothing – has your significant other ever screamed at you, especially after a night of boozing with inbred white-trash hillbillies from Canton? But by showing the times the voicemails were sent undercut Meatball Morrissey’s case.

But again, it was just like revenge porn. The cops were angry because Karen Read was objecting to their attempts to railroad her into prison, so they just had to lash out. They told her to plead out, but she… wouldn’t… bleepin’… listen.

At various points the hack persecutor, er prosecutor, and his crooked troopers have said that John O’Keefe was killed at 12:32, or 12:46. They’ll probably come up with yet another new time this morning.

But yesterday they were playing the hysterical voicemails she was leaving for this O’Keefe who they claim she had murdered almost an hour earlier. Not killed in a drunken accident, but murdered. That’s what the cops are claiming.

Karen Read must be quite the criminal mastermind to be covering her tracks like that, leaving voice messages for a guy after murdering him. And the prosecution was playing them all.

As incompetent as the Norfolk County district attorney is, the Mass. State Police are even worse.

Everything their witnesses say contradicts everything that’s been said earlier by the prior below-average troopers.

Their most vile cop, Michael Proctor, said under oath last week that he had never gone to the death scene on the day O’Keefe died, Jan. 29, 2022.

Yesterday’s MSP witness, $190,000-a-year Nicholas Guarino, was shown a report he’d written saying “While on scene Tpr. Proctor secured O’Keefe’s cell phone.”

So who was lying this time? Was it Proctor – again! – or was it Guarino?

Turns out, on re-direct, Guarino claimed that despite what the report says, he didn’t mean what he’d written in his own report.

Given Proctor’s rather sordid proven misbehavior, the jurors might have thought that if Proctor had sole custody of the dead man’s cell phone, it might mean something sinister.

Guarino knew what the jurors were thinking. Obviously he was thinking the same thing about Proctors. So after admitting that the crooked Proctor had the phone by himself for awhile, he blurted out, “You cannot change data!”

Nobody asked you, Trooper. Methinks Guarino doth protest too much.

O’Keefe’s phone data said he was climbing up and down steps shortly before his head was bashed in by parties unknown. Read’s Lexus does not have any steps. Guarino pathetically tried to explain this inconvenient data indicating that in his final moments, O’Keefe was inside a house, rather than outside in the snow.

“The phone was manipulated!”

That’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

Guarino is a graduate of Westfield State ’03. It’s an elite institution – only 94% of applicants are accepted.

Since then, Guarino has taken Zoom courses in, well, something. The defense attorney, David Yannetti, went through some of his very rigorous curricula.

“Introduction to Computer Networks.

“Introduction to Cell Phone Investigations.”

“Introduction to Previewing.”

Do you notice a pattern here? Yannetti asked him if he’d ever been taught to include all the important details in a report he’s writing.

“It depends,” Guarino said, “on the report I’m writing.”

So there are different standards, say, whether you’re trying to frame some c-word or r-word with no ass and a leaky balloon knot – Proctor’s descriptions of Karen Read – or if you’re trying to cover up the possible criminal liability for some corrupt alcoholics in your low-rent social circles.

Tell us how you assemble your data, Trooper.

“As soon as the data is available that I can do it I will and if you know things come up then you know I do it when it’s able.”

The previous trooper, Conehead #4, said he converses with “crime scenes.” Now we learn that his fellow “expert” Guarino deals with data “when it’s able.”

Jen McCabe, also known as Jen McTooth, is one of their dear friends. She deleted multiple searches and messages off her cell phone on the morning of O’Keefe’s death, including the infamous “Hos long to die in cold” at 2:27.

Guarino missed that smoking-gun deletion for a year. The defense found it.

“It was an issue with the software,” Guarino sputtered. Isn’t it always?

Well, then, Trooper, who did delete all of Jen McTooth’s searches that seem exculpatory of the defendant.

“I don’t believe it was user-initiated,” he said. “It was phone initiated.”

These damn cell phones in Canton! They butt dial randomly when they’re not even on your person. They random delete embarrassing messages.

Then there’s Cellebrite, which is the gold standard of cell phone records. When the Cellebrite supports some drunken theory the cops are using to frame Karen Read, it’s 100% reliable.

If it contradicts their theories, or even worse, seems to incriminate one of them, the cops fly in a witness from a foreign country to denounce the technology.

You know, sometimes things that work perfectly everywhere else in the world just randomly malfunction in Canton. It’s the Bermuda Triangle of Norfolk County.

The day continued with someone from the medical examiner’s office. She had a full sleeve tattoo all the way up and including her shoulder.

Left arm, the same side where she had a nose ring.

Hos long until Karen Read is acquitted?