Dementia Joe Biden has come unstuck in time again.
His latest Billy Pilgrim moment happened Friday, graduation day at the U.S. Naval Academy.
Brandon was delivering his usual incoherent stew of demagoguery and senility — equal portions of deranged whispers and sudden shouts, punctuated with one preposterous lie after another, about the number of trips he’s made to Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy, his athletic career etc. etc.
Among other things, he said the graduates had spent “four days” in college. He called Zoom “Joom.” He claimed he’s convinced “North Korea” to impose sanctions on Russia. He said COVID is causing global warming.
In short, it was just another delirious day trip for Brandon away from the assisted-living facility at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
But this time, the president added a couple of new twists to the fantasy he calls his biography.
As always, all dialogue guaranteed verbatim.
“I was appointed to the Academy in 1965.”
For the record, in 1965 Biden was 22 years old. He’d been out of high school for four years. He was starting law school.
“I didn’t come to the Academy ‘cause I wanted to be a football star and you had a guy named Staubach and Bellino here. So I went to Delaware.”
He was referring to two Heisman Trophy winners from Navy — Roger Staubach and Joe Bellino. Of course, Bellino played his last college game in 1960, Staubach in 1964.
So they were both on active Navy duty by the time Biden says he was appointed — or “commissioned,” as he also babbled — in 1965, at age 22.
As for his varsity gridiron career at Delaware, there wasn’t one. But then, is he really sure he went to Delaware? On other occasions, he’s bragged that he was the first white student at Delaware State.
“When I couldn’t play football anymore I played rugby in law school.”
As you probably surmised, there is no record of Brandon ever playing rugby anywhere, except in his own mind, such as it is. Rugby publications have tried to check out this bogus claim for years, but the White House never responds.
The first official rugby club at Syracuse was started in 1969, a year after he graduated at the bottom of his class and was almost thrown out for plagiarism.
At a school commencement, the speaker must give a shoutout to everyone concerned, starting with the administration and faculty.
“Thank you Admiral Admiral Buck for the work you and your team have done to put these young men and women in shape when they arrived here four days ago.”
Four days ago! In other words, they arrived on Monday as plebes, and by Friday they were “firsties” picking up their diplomas. Time really does fly, doesn’t it?
It was a harrowing 96 hours, though, what with the Panic from Red China. Brandon’s caregivers had written in a line for him to read about the perils the Class of 2022 faced during their almost-week in Annapolis.
“When you had to take your classes over Joom – Zoom I should say.”
Dementia Joe mentioned his late son Beau’s military service, and how he’d won a “Bronze Spar.” Oddly, however, the President never mentioned the brief Navy career of his crackhead, alcoholic, stripper-chasing son Hunter.
Hunter was kicked out of the Naval Reserve in 2013 after failing a cocaine test. Instead, Brandon talked of his deep affection for another Annapolis graduate, John McCain.
“We traveled tens of thousands of miles together, as he staffing me as a senator.”
May we quote you on that, Mr. President? You know, Brandon has military personnel with him wherever he wanders off to, just one step away from a Silver Alert.
“A young we-man with me carrying the atomic – the football.”
Could you possibly be referring to the nuclear football, Mr. President? And by the way, to which of the 58 or 73 genders does a “we-man” belong?
The Panic made its usual appearance in Biden’s remarks. It always does.
“The deadly pandemic has impacted not just our own schooling but almost every aspect of our lives, impacts of disruption in global supply chains causing significant inflation accelerated climate crisis that’s leading to rising seas and more severe weather patterns throughout the globe.”
Is there anything the Wuhan flu can’t do?
I thought Putin was responsible for all the world’s ills. But like everything else, the Ukrainian conflict isn’t polling well for Democrats. So it got short shrift, although Brandon did give himself a pat on the back.
“Did anybody think that when I called for sanctions against Russian, that in addition to NATO, that Australia, Japan or North Korea, some of the ASEAN countries, would stand up and support those sanctions?”
North Korea! Who knew? North Korea didn’t know. Where are state-run media’s fact-checkers when you need them? Whatever happened to Nina Jankowicz?
“The world is moving so rapidly. I need not tell you aviators within the next decade you’re going to be able to circumnavigate the world in within the atmosphere in a little less than in a little more than an hour.”
Brandon even coined a new phrase, of which he seemed quite proud.
“The actions taken by Putin were an attempt, to use my phrase, Findelize all of Europe – make it all neutral.”
Surely he meant to say, “Finlandize.” But I like “findelize” better – it rhymes with “swindleize,” and if there’s anything all Bidens understand, it’s a swindle.
Today he’s off to Uvalde, Texas. It should be the most somber of moments, a commemoration of a terrible atrocity.
But given his recent rhetorical buffoonery, we may soon be hearing Brandon babble about his imagined adventures with famous Texans of yore like Judge Roy Bean or Bob Wills, or maybe even Jim Bowie and Col. Travis at the Alamo.
Will Biden claim to have served in Congress with Davy Crockett? Or will he just inform us that, “Santa Ana was a bad dude.”
It might be best for all concerned if Brandon just did a Joom call.