How is Sleepy Joe Biden holding up in his own personal nursing home in Delaware?
This is what we can learn from the Democrat candidate’s recent interviews by his swooning, slobbering acolytes in the alt-left media, and all dialogue is guaranteed verbatim:
He’s being briefed about the great pestilence, the “Luhan virus,” which originated in China, in “Luhan Province.” (Not Wuhan, Luhan.)
He’s spending a lot of time rereading his favorite Irish poet, “Seamus Haney.” (As opposed to Seamus Heaney, apparently).
He talks every day to his “five grandchildren.” (Actually, he had six when he said that, apparently forgetting the grandson his crack-addled son Hunter fathered with the Arkansas stripper, and now he has a seventh one).
Mostly, he’s brainstorming, if you can use the word brain in the same sentence with “Joe Biden.”
“I am literally on the phone at least three to four hours a day with my team talking about the detailed implemecation.”
Implemecation? It’s a must, especially with the number of Luhan virus cases increasing “expodentially.”
“How do we get the money? Where do we do?”
That’s the eternal question that has thundered down through the millennia, hasn’t it? Where do we do? Especially here, in the “United States America.”
Uncle Joe is only doing interviews with the Democrat press, which is almost all of them. Very few of his TV appearances are live anymore — the Democrat producers need time to clean up the frontrunner’s Grandpa Simpson-like meanderings and asides and literal walkaways from the camera while it’s rolling.
But he’s still yapping incoherently to, if not reporters, at least B-list celebrities, who have been peppering him with scores of fawning gee-whiz questions in the past week.
Yet not one of these Deep State cheerleaders has dared to inquire about the recent accusations by one of his former female aides, one Tara Reade, that he threw her up against a wall, reached his hand up under her dress and groped her in 1993.
And then, when she rebuffed him, she recalls, Sleepy Joe said to her, “C’mon man, I heard you liked me!”
Sounds totally believable, doesn’t it? Certainly much more so than the accusations of, say, Julie Swetnick, or Christine Blasey Ford. And yet we were lectured by all Democrats, including Joe Biden, that we must believe everything every woman says about any guy, well at least if they’re Republicans.
Biden, on the other hand, is allowed to go back over the same old ground, again and again and again. For instance, he loves to bring up the Defense Production Act. Certainly something he should understand, having been in the Senate for what, 36, years? Here he is with Jimmy Kimmel, uh Fallon – one of those interchangeable late-night “comedians,” anyway.
“I back a while ago uh Jimmy I, I, I said he should involve what this, this National Defense Act that’s out there, this Defense Pro- Production Act it’s called and it makes the president, gives him the authority to go to industries … he has the power to do it under the the the the act that I just referenced to.”
May we quote you on that Mr. Simpson, er, Vice President.
“We know that if you have social distancing early on and you keep it moving that in fact it reduces and flattens that curve and people get, uh, you know, faster than before.”
Faster than before! You don’t say.
According to Sleepy Joe, we must learn from the lessons of other countries what are ahead of us in the curve of the plague.
“We have to make sure we’re able to follow like they did in South Korea, uh, brought down the numbers, follow those who are infected who they had spoken to, who they had not spoken to, who they had come in contact with so that we could track it back down so it doesn’t re-erupt but you notice most of the states are moving in that direction Tennessee –”
We should be trying to track down everybody who hasn’t been spoken to by those who’ve tested positive? That’s going to be tough, even for Tennessee. Maybe we should all just reach out to our neighbors, Mr. Vice President, you know, like Fallon, or is it Kimmel, is doing.
“I mean, you’re doing it — I mean it’s just people you know uh I, I, when I started to run for office this time around –“
One thing about pretaping everything — Sleepy Joe hasn’t called Charlie Baker “Charlie Parker” this week. Just “the governor of Massachusetts.”
Meanwhile, as you self-quarantine this weekend, try to keep your eye on the ball, and never stop asking that most important question of all:
“Where do we do?”