Is that all there is?
Peggy Lee summed up yesterday’s indictment way back when in her song, and then added:
“If that’s all there is, my friends, then let’s keep dancing.”
Thirteen Russians indicted, and not a single Boris Badenov or Natasha among them. No collusion, no effect on the election, and the only “real U.S. persons” the no-goodniks (to use Boris’ word) interacted with were “unwitting.”
Hillary Clinton described the Russian meddling in the 2016 election as another 9/11. Comrade Chris Matthews, among many others, agreed. Some clown from the New York Times said it was worse than 9/11 and Pearl Harbor.
Let’s look at some of the Russkie terror attacks. From page 7:
“On or about May 29, 2016, Defendants… arranged for a real U.S. person to stand in front of the White House in the District of Columbia under false pretenses to hold a sign that read ‘Happy 55th Birthday Dear Boss.’”
Next, class, please turn to page 23:
“Defendants and their co-conspirators asked one U.S. person to build a cage on a flatbed truck and another U.S. person to wear a costume portraying Clinton in a prison uniform.”
This is what the FBI has been working on for more than a year now instead of running down multiple solid tips on the Florida shooter Nikolas Cruz. First things first, comrades. What’s next for the intrepid G-men, putting out a BOLO on “moose and squirrel?”
I’m surprised that all the Clinton campaign contributors who work for the special persecutor, er prosecutor, are so angry about these particular aliens. After all, they had only “traveled to the United States under false pretenses” and “also used, possessed, and transferred, without lawful authority, the social security numbers and dates of birth of real U.S. persons without those persons’ knowledge or consent.”
They sound like Dreamers to me. When are Nancy and Chuck having a sit- in for the Russkie Baker’s Dozen on the steps of the Capitol?
As the president triumphantly noted, the no-goodniks began their perfidious treachery in 2014, when everyone assumed that any rumblings of a potential Trump candidacy were nothing more than a ploy by Trump to extract a raise from NBC before the next season of The Apprentice.
And it must have galled Mueller’s dirty tricksters to have to admit, on page 6, that the ring operated with “the stated goal of ‘spread(ing) distrust towards the candidates and the political system and the political system in general.”
Key phrase: in general.
One of Boris and Natasha’s last Internet postings before the election: “Choose peace and vote for Jill Stein. Trust me, it’s not a wasted vote.”
Never let the facts get in the way of a good story, even a long-since discredited story. That’s the motto of the very-fake-news media. Here’s a sample of yesterday’s headlines, and any resemblance to the facts contained in the actual indictment is purely coincidental:
CNBC: “Russians conducted ‘information warfare’ against US during election to help Donald Trump win.”
But here’s the best, from Mother Jones: “Mueller’s Latest Indictment Shows Trump Has Helped Putin Cover Up a Crime.”
And naturally every story last night contained the words that so soothe the unhinged moonbats: “The investigation continues….”
As does the search for the Fountain of Youth, D.B. Cooper, Sasquatch, unicorns and the Loch Ness monster.
Bloomberg tried to put the best spin possible on the special counsel’s 37-page comic masterpiece, saying it “should be seen as an effort by Mueller to raise awareness about Russian capabilities.”
Oh sure, that’s why it was unsealed on a Friday afternoon before a three-day weekend. To ensure maximum coverage.
By the way, even after the election was over, Boris and Natasha didn’t give up. Four days after the vote, they organized two dueling rallies in New York. One was a pro-Trump rally, the other, larger one was called “Trump is NOT my president.”
Time to close with some more Peggy Lee. Truly, this should be the theme song of the Mueller “probe.” As we drop the needle back on the record, 12-year-old Peggy’s father is taking her to see the Greatest Show on Earth:
“I had the feeling that something was missing/ I don’t know what, but when it was over/I said to myself, ‘Is that all there is to a circus?’”
The answer, Peggy, is yes. Or should I say, “Da?”