Alibi Ike was a fictional baseball player in a Ring Lardner short story that later became a famous 1935 movie – Olivia de Havilland’s film debut.
Alibi Ike had a lame excuse for everything that went wrong. It was never Alibi Ike’s fault.
Alibi Ike must have been a Democrat. Because the Democrats have an excuse for everything.
The Alibi Ike-ing of the Democrat party has been going on for a long time, but the phenomenon seemed to pick up steam last weekend as San Francisco Mayor London Breed spoke about the recall of three far-left Democrats on the local school board.
They were all ousted by votes of between 68% and 76% – in San Francisco. The three moonbats were all woke to the max – when they weren’t shutting down the schools for years on end on behalf of the goldbricking teachers’ unions, they were trying to change the “racist” names on the city’s schools and wreck the city’s world-class exam high school.
Mayor Breed shrugged off the landslide rejection of the three card-carrying fellow travelers by saying that education should not be “a Democratic-Republican issue.”
As if Republicans have a lot to do with public education in SF. But even before the mayor went all Alibi Ike, someone on the Board of Supervisors had blamed the recall on “closet Republicans.”
And one of the ousted school board members, Gabriela Lopez, went still further. She said everyone who voted against her was “aligned with” white supremacists.
For the record, 72% of the San Francisco voters – 126,637 to be exact – opted to oust Lopez. Who knew there were that many white supremacists and closet Republicans in SF?
But the San Fran Dems aren’t the only Alibi Ikes out there on the Democrat side.
Remember how we were all instructed to “follow the science?” Then Democrats started losing elections so “the science changed.”
How about mask mandates? They were necessary to save lives. Until they weren’t. But they are the surest visible sign of submission to the Democrat orthodoxy.
So now the new line on masks is, as The Atlantic (which once was a semi-respected magazine) explained in a headline: “Mask Mandates Don’t Need to Make Sense.”
They just need to be obeyed.
By the way, when Democrats are busted for not wearing masks, they always have an alibi. Nancy Pelosi for example — she was “set up” by her beauty salon. (She’s from San Francisco, of course.)
Any scandals involving Alibi Ike are never reported except with these headlines: “Republicans Pounce (or Weaponize, or Seize on) Democrat’s arrest.”
A female Democrat Alibi Ike running for Congress in Oklahoma had a problem earlier this month at a sleepover for some young girls.
Was she, as witnesses said, drunk? No, it was a bad reaction to “medication.”
How about those racial slurs she was hurling at some of the little girls while on medication? “That’s not who I am.”
It never is, with Alibi Ike.
Some racist graffiti was recently discovered in a California high school. The perpetrator was, as you may have guessed, Black. So will the Black teenager be prosecuted for a hate crime? Of course not! The Alibi Ike who has the job of “race and equity monitor” for that school district explained, “It was a prank that went sideways.”
Hillary Clinton is the ultimate Alibi Ike. As somebody noted recently, whenever she says anything is a “conspiracy,” you can assume it is true.
Conversely, whenever Hillary or any other Democrat says anything is true (think Russian collusion hoax) you can safely write it off as … a conspiracy.
Speaking of Alibi Hillary, she’s also the one who brushed off the death of four Americans at Benghazi: “What difference, at this point, does it make?”
Which is just another way of saying that it’s “old news,” and that’s how Alibi Ike now describes the aforementioned Russian collusion hoax. It used to be the biggest threat to the Constitution ever, but now that’s proven to be nothing more than a Democrat dirty trick, it’s… old news.
If you quote somebody verbatim by transcribing their words off the videotape, Alibi Ike says you’re “taking it out of context.”
You catch them red-handed doing something despicable or criminal. Alibi Ike has fact-checkers who shrug it off — “It’s complicated.”
There was no inflation when Trump was president. Now it’s at a 40-year high, at the very least. But Democrats don’t cause inflation — “greedy corporations” do. Oddly, the corporations must not have been so greedy under Trump.
How about the skyrocketing price of what Dementia Joe calls “hamburger meat?” Not his fault. It’s caused by “meat conglomerates,” as his press secretary Alibi Ikette says.
Urban violence? Not the fault of Democrats’ coddling of these savages. It’s all on “the gun show loophole.”
AOC says she can’t pay back her student loans she’s so broke. But not so broke that she can’t fly first-class back to D.C. last week from Texas.
Freedom is now a dog whistle for … freedom.
Republicans are always far-right. Democrats are never far-left.
Mistakes were made. Hillary’s husband, one of the original Alibi Ikes, invented that one. Note the use of the passive voice. No one actually made a mistake. Mistakes were made.
There’s a lack of civility in Washington. Can you guess which side lacks civility?
Democrats change their position — they’re evolving, growing. Republicans change their position — they’re flip-flopping.
Republicans stonewall, refuse to compromise. Democrats want to reach across the aisle, at least as long it’s their way, or the highway.
Remember last month, when Virginia had a Democrat governor, and he decreed a mask mandate for all public schools? Anyone who disregarded the Democrat diktats was an insurrectionist and would be dragged out of local school board meetings by cops.
Now Virginia has a Republican governor who says masks are optional. Yet the same Democrat-controlled school committees who mere weeks ago decreed absolute obedience to anything the governor ordered, no matter how nonsensical, now imperiously declare, we’ll make the damn rules, not some damn Republican in a down jacket.
That same Democrat governor, by the way, was photographed in blackface, just like Justin Trudeau. Alibi Ike says that was okay. As for Megyn Kelly even talking about blackface – she’s fired!
If it weren’t for double standards, Alibi Ike would have no standards at all.