Grace’s Take: Top Five Fake “Tough” Guys

In Howie’s book Hitman, he tells a story about when Johnny Martorano was being questioned by a defense attorney in Miami.


Lawyer: You were a ruthless guy, weren’t you, Mr.Martorano?
Martorano: I don’t know.
Lawyer: You don’t know?
Martorano: You don’t act like I am.
Lawyer: Let’s go back to reality here, Mr. Martorano. Your reputation for ruthlessness was well-known, was it not?
Martorano: Probably.
Lawyer: And when you say “probably,” are you being modest?
Martorano: I’m not the person– it has to be the other person to decide that, not me.

Martorano understood something that the lawyer clearly didn’t. That is, tough guys don’t toot their own horns. Martorano didn’t feel the need to boast of his own toughness because his reputation (negatives and all) spoke for itself. The people who ceaselessly talk about how tough or strong they are–well, they’re usually just that, a lot of talk.

Howie also loves the quote, ” the louder he spoke of his honor the faster we counted our spoons.” In other words, the more virtuous someone tries to portray themselves, the more suspicious you should be of their so-called piousness. And the same logic goes for people who drone on about their glory days fighting off every thug who crossed their path….More likely than not, this person is nothing more than a huge hardo.

The mainstream media and the world of politics are full of hardos. It is an epidemic.

I first started to notice it when Lawrence O’Donnell was talking about Boston and tried to work in a super thick Boston accent. Anyone looking at the guy could tell he was far from a street thug. Was he from Dorchester? Yes. Was he a pampered puke? Also yes.

And yet, it was not the first or last time that Larry tried to throw on a painfully awkward tough-guy demeanor. And after I noticed this, the other examples became more and more apparent. So let’s list the impostors, shall we?

(These are not ranked in any particular order. I can’t stand these dudes so I’m not trying to spend all day writing this thing.)

1. Donny Deutsch

Remember when Trump tweeted this about Low IQ Mika?

Of course you do! What you might not remember as vividly? Deutsch’s response.

Got that Trump? You picked the wrong “schoolyard” to come into. The President must be shaking in his boots. Deutsch is one SCARY dude.

2. Joe Biden

Speaking of school…there of course was Joe Biden’s infamous “take him out behind the gym” moment. The him he is referring to is President Trump of course! For someone who is eating cheeseburgers and watching TV all day, Trump is certainly inciting a lot of anger in these grey-haired geezers.

Joe loves to talk about how physically tough he is. He recently challenged Howard Dean to some sort of showdown.

Does Biden think an election is decided with a duel or something? Maybe when he was younger that is how things went down?

Alas, he is going to be so disappointed when he figures out he can’t put on his old wrestling uniform during a Presidential debate.

3. Chris Christie

I can’t exclude the former NJ Governor solely because he is a Republican. The quality of being a complete blowhard does not merely apply to the Lefties (though it certainly is more apparent on their side of the aisle).

Christie is one of the worst offenders of pretending to be ready to throw down at any moment.

Worst part is all of his confrontations are well-documented and usually involve him being baited by a random heckler.

https://youtu.be/mtdspq_5h44

https://youtu.be/t40SBG4feuI

There are even more. Just go to the YouTube machine and type in Chris Christie shouting. Or don’t. One of the perks of him no longer being in office is that you don’t have to see him pumping his fists and challenging every person who mocks him to a fist fight.

4. Larry O

Lawrence O’Donnell really popped up on my radar after his infamous #StopTheHammering moment was broadcast for the world to see.

It is too good not to watch one more time…

https://youtu.be/DRSWpZiDquk

And once I saw this I thought, oh okay- that guy is a jerk. But what I later found out through the help of Howie Carr, is that Mr. O’Donnell has a long history of puffing up his chest and putting on a show. Check out when he went crazy on Taggart Romney and invited him to fight…

If the faux accent didn’t make you cringe, I’m sure the hand gestures and stupid smirk did.

5. Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe (D)

This is kind of a two-for-one because McAuliffe was on with another hardo Chris Matthews. This one is really rich because both moonbats are living in a fantasy land where they are not only tough but that they are also FUNNY. Sweet Jesus. Truly an alternate universe.

Without further ado, you have the floor Terry. Please tell us how you would deck Trump in a debate.

Who is your favorite wanna-be-gangster? I know I left some out so feel free to comment them below.