Good luck getting an ambulance on the Cape on Thursday night if you need one.
Most EMTs anywhere near Mashpee will be stationed at the Willowbend Country Club for the big fundraiser for Gov. Charlie Baker and Lt. Gov. Karyn “Pay to Play” Polito.
Given the guest list for Baker’s party, the Willowbend on Thursday night will look more like Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum.
If Tall Deval is planning on seeking a third term, this varsity squad of political operatives seem poised to mount a flawless campaign … in 1986.
Should Dementia Joe Biden somehow stumble into the development Thursday night to celebrate the guy he calls Charlie Parker, he would be referred to by one and all as “the Kid.” That’s how over the hill this crowd of Charlie Parker acolytes are.
The “time” is being hosted by the septuagenarian PR hack and future first-time bridegroom George Regan.
And this gathering is more about Regan than it is about the failed governor. George needs to somehow remain relevant, given that the media outlets he used to cater to — local TV news, newspapers, magazines — are increasingly as outdated and defunct as the guest list at his party.
Forgotten, but not gone. If there’s a fresh face in Regan’s crowd, it’s only because it’s been recently … renovated, shall we say.
Let’s start with Gerry D’Amico, the former state senator from Worcester. I had no idea he was still alive! He’s 74, and last delivered an election-night victory speech in 1984.
He ran for lieutenant governor in 1986, and his campaign crashed and burned after he publicly said of someone named Bulger, “This is the guy I work for.” Of course he meant Billy, the Senate president, not his serial-killing brother, but it was the end of the sweaty, corpulent D’Amico’s political career.
But D’Amico won’t be the only one at this geezer gathering who carries the Bulger brand on his backside.
Also on the “host committee” is 70-year-old ex-Boston City Councilor and career hack Bill “Landslide” Linehan. His most successful legislative initiative: getting a pay raise to fatten up his pension. Least successful: trying to affix the “Bulger” name to the local branch library in South Boston.
Another ancient Bulgerite on the host committee is ex-Sen. Jack Brennan, age 75. He was less successful than Landslide Linehan in trying to plump up his kiss in the mail. Brennan served on the Malden library board, sort of, missing 30 of his last 36 meetings. But he still demanded his years of “service” should count toward his pension, although he eventually gave up his greedy grab.
Also being driven down from Southie for the time: ex-Mayor Ray Flynn, age 82.
One of Billy Bulger’s lawyers was R. Robert Popeo, age 83. Along with auto dealer Herb Chambers (age 79), Popeo is now one of the co-chairs for this gala event in the Barnstable County branch of God’s Waiting Room.
Another of Popeo’s clients was Arthur Winn, the 82-year-old developer who pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors in federal court in 2011. Winn is now on the host committee.
At one point, Winn gave $10,000 to his “personal friend,” convicted felon ex-Sen. Dianne Wilkerson (Bureau of Prisons # 21757-038). Winn’s gift, by the way, is not to be confused with the $1,000 cash that jailbird Wilkerson stuffed into her bra while the FBI was videotaping her.
Several of those on the host committee gave money to the Roxbury senator. But an even more popular beneficiary of Charlie’s Rest Home pals was former House Speaker Sal DiMasi (BOP# 27371-038).
Sal, you may recall, was so crooked he needed a corkscrew to get into his trousers in the morning. He was released from prison after he claimed he was on his deathbed — back in 2016.
Now 76, DiMasi has returned to the scene of the crime — the State House — and is a lobbyist.
Back in the day, Sal DiMasi reaped big bucks from several of Charlie and Pay to Play’s hosts, including Sean McGrath, Donato Frattaroli Sr. and, of course, Jay Cashman of Chatham.
Another favorite recipient of cash from the very ethical host committee: the late Sen. Brian “Multiple Choice” Joyce of Milton.
He too would have had his own BOP number. But in 2018 Multiple Choice died of a drug overdose at age 56 just before he was to stand trial on a 113-count federal corruption indictment.
Those on the host committee included at least two people who have been charged with drunken driving, as well as a retired judge who has been reprimanded by the Commission on Judicial Conduct.
Given the grim reality of the actuarial tables among his demographic cohorts, Regan had to pad the “host committee” with some of his current and former employees.
One of those is the dreadful Julie Kahn, who presided over the demise of a once-dominant (although thoroughly below-average) WEEI radio station into the ratings-challenged laughingstock of the industry that it is today.
Another one of George’s minions on the host committee: the 62-inch-high Paul Casey Sherman, a legend in his own mind. Paul once wrote a book about the murder of his aunt, the last victim of the Boston Strangler.
That dismal tome included a scene in which Paul’s mother sees the apparition of her late sister.
“It wasn’t a dream,” Paul quotes his mother as saying, before adding that Aunt Apparition had more to say when she materialized in the hallway of Mom’s house.
“She said, ‘Find my murderer. Find my murderer.’ ”
Which was why Paul wrote his book, for his murdered aunt. Unfortunately, he identified the wrong man as the shade’s murderer. It turned out his aunt was murdered by Albert deSalvo, despite Paul’s years-long “investigation” to the contrary.
A crowd of local Cape Republicans is planning to troll the attendees as the ambulances (and perhaps a hearse or two) arrive at Regan’s residence tomorrow evening.
They’ll be holding “Diehl for Governor” signs and saying a good Act of Contrition for the souls of the soon-to-be-departed.
Guys, just don’t yell “stat!” at the old-timers as they’re wheeled into the party. It might stop their pacemakers.