It’s getting worse for Joe Biden. Making ever fewer appearances in his role as “president,” he makes ever more mistakes. His mind is gone.
Here he is on Wednesday, announcing another giveaway to shiftless deadbeats who took out hundreds of billions in student loans to major in queer studies at the local community college and now don’t want to stop smoking weed long enough to pay back their legally-contracted debts.
“You can sign up for the save plan at student aid dot gov slash save. Student aid dash gov slash student aid dash student aid dot gov slash gov.”
May we quote you quote on that, Mr. President?
As always, all dialogue quoted verbatim. Such as when he told an audience he was sworn in in January of 2020. (Actually, 2021.) Or when he said, “I cut national debt by 1 trillion, 700 billion dollars.”
In fact, the national debt is up under Biden. It’s now over $33 trillion. The fact-checkers could not be reached for comment.
Biden has recently claimed he witnessed the collapse of the Fern Hollow Bridge in Pittsburgh last year. (He didn’t.)
In his speeches, the 80-year-old corrupt vegetable alternates between creepy whispers and sudden screams, mixed in with an occasional burp. Sometimes Biden loses his train of thought and his voice trails off.
It’s gotten so bad that sometimes his care-givers just cut off his microphone and shout “Thank you!” at the assorted Democrat operatives with press passes who are in attendance.
At Gen. Mark Milley’s retirement, he denounced the tragic events of “June 6.” Was he referring to D-Day, perhaps? On an earlier occasion, he referred to the so-called insurrection of “July 6.”
He loves to praise the military, or as he calls it, the “grating fighting foice force.” It is, he continued, “the most diverse fighting fice force in the world.”
The simplest words are beyond Biden’s ability to pronounce. Shadows become “shadders.” He talks about ante-bellum slave owners, only he says “slain owners.” The word “points” comes out as “pornts.” The phrase “civil service” becomes “shival service.” Corporate is pronounced “corefet.”
He talks about big business “padding” their profits, only he says “paddling.” Young comes out “flung,” and brain becomes “blain.”
Luckily for him, he’s never been a drinker. If he was one, everyone would say he was drunk. But he’s sober when he tries to talk about “AI,” only it comes out “AA.” He thinks “Good Morning Vietnam” was a song. It was a movie.
He confused the Congressional Hispanic Caucus with the Congressional Black Caucus.
On the anniversary of 9/11, he couldn’t be bothered to go to New York. In Alaska, he lied that he’d been at Ground Zero the next day. He had to correct himself after he first said the Muslim terrorists had murdered 297 Americans – the number was 2977.
Then he told a personal 9/11 story about a guy named “Davis” he’d grown up with whose son was killed that day. It was a very touching story, except that he called his friend Davis “David.”
Then he recalled seeing “a plume of fire shooting up” from the Pentagon as he got off his Amtrak train at Union Station. That too was a lie.
Sometimes the White House transcribers try to clean up his incoherence, at least a little bit. In August, he was bragging about the FEMA response to the fires in Hawaii. First he congratulated FEMA administrator “Deanne Griswell.” Her name is “Criswell.”
“To date,” the transcript read, “FEMA has approved five five thou – 50,000 meals, 75 liters – thousand liters, of water, 500 beds.”
Then the hacks x-ed out “approved” and replaced it with “provided.” Those 500 beds – actually it was 5000.
On Wednesday, he mentioned, “I join with Minority Leader Jeffers.”
Er, his name is Jeffries, Brandon. He called US Rep. Mary Gay Scanlon “Mary Kay Scanlon.”
He identified rapper LL Cool J “LL J Cool J.” Then he complimented him on his biceps.
It’s not just blacks he talks down to. Two weeks ago he said he’s been working to get more jobs “particularly for African Americans and Hispanic workers and veterans – you know, the workers without high school diplomas.”
Imagine if Trump had said anything that racist or classist!
He talked about the rising temperatures in the waters off Florida, only he said Delaware.
He said the election of the speaker of the House is the responsibility “of the House and Senate.”
Here are a few more of Brandon’s recent Greatest Hits:
“The entire company, uh, country is here for you.”
“You know Wall Street good folks down there but they didn’t build the middle class they didn’t build America. Middle class was built by the middle class and the unions built the middle class.”
“I signed that pen.”
“John Kerry was the nominee for president of the Democrat party.”
“Mega Republicans under my predecessor gutted immigration under my predecessor.”
“The problem was too many people are working! Or working people are working making too much money. That’s not the problem.”
“We hold our hands the power in that power to bend that arc of history.”
“Our common, uh, our combatant commands.”
“Every asset we be will be.”
“Auto manufactur-shees has large been largely been middle class career.”
“I sat down, it was in February, Feb – no, January, after we’d been elected. Late January. Uh, early February.”
“So today I’m pleased to announce we’re working with Congress to invest 40 billion in our Pacific Islands Infrastructure Initiative we call it the PT PI anyways it doesn’t matter what we call it but that’s what it is.”
That’s what it is. What it is is a bleepshow. I can’t wait until Brandon tries to explain why now it’s okay to build a wall to keep out the criminal Third World hordes overrunning the nation.
(Order Howie’s new book, “Paper Boy: Read All About It!” at howiecarrshow.com or amazon.com.)