Dementia Joe Biden made it official yesterday that he wants to “finish the job.”
Maybe he should learn how to finish a sentence first.
The announcement was pre-recorded, for obvious reasons. According to the latest NBC poll, 70% of Americans don’t want Brandon to run again – 70%! That includes a majority of Democrats.
Only 26% in the poll want him back on the ballot at age 82. Even Donald Trump has 35% rooting for him to run next year.
Rather than releasing that statement – in fact a campaign ad – perhaps Brandon should have put out a videotape of his recent greatest hits, to show that he hasn’t lost an inch off the old fastball. In fact, he’s lost a yard – 10 yards in fact. First down, Brandon!
But I have the tape for you, from this last month. All dialogue guaranteed verbatim.
Let’s start with Monday afternoon at the White House. Dementia Joe is sporting his Seventies shades.
“We know that there’s no there’s no such there’s there’s there’s so much more! To finish the job. We can do it!”
Then he introduced US Rep. Jahana Hays, who is female. He called her Jonah.
“Jonah, and by the way Jonah Hayes. Jonah where are you? There you are Jonah, right in front of me. Stand up Jonah!”
Got her name – and gender — wrong five times, in 11 seconds.
Brandon will be campaigning on making billionaires pay their fair share. Or so he says.
“You have we have a thousand billionaires in America. You know the average tax rate they pay? Eight. E-I-G-H percent. Eight.”
Can we quote you on that, Mr. President?
“And on the face of it they’re good stories on its face let’s face it.”
He recently journeyed to Ireland, where he bragged about his international travels.
“I’ve been in and out of Iraq and Iran er er uh Iraq and Iran but Iraq not Iran I misspoke Iraq and Afghanistan 30 times.”
Like Bunny Berigan, apparently, Brandon has been around the world in a plane. He’s settled revolutions in Spain. Still, he can’t get started with 70% of the American people who just hope and pray he’ll go away.
More and more he corrects his shambolic babbling several seconds after he misreads the teleprompter or briefing books.
“Three hundred 70-billion-dollar investment which will reduce annual carbon emissions by one billion tons in 230.”
In what year, Mr. President? In the year 230? Is that A.D. or B.C.?
After an instant, he corrected “230” to “2030.” It’s almost as if he’s wearing an earpiece and some aide is listening to him bungle and then correcting him about what he should be saying. It happens again and again.
“You know their sweet excuse me their sweat is soaked with the foundations of communities across the nation.”
Or, “US taxpayer dollars should not should not support companies that are willing to sell their products to abate human right violations and excuse me a-a-a-abet human rights violations.”
See what I mean? As unlikely as it is that a person with a functioning brain would confuse the words “abate” and “abet,” anyone who did would correct himself immediately.
Sometimes Brandon totally blows a statement, then repeats it, correctly, sort of.
“My mom used to have an expression. She said Joey, courage is the greatest virtue of all. Without courage, you cannot have love with the bandit.”
Huh? She said what, Mr. President? So he tries again.
“Without courage, you cannot love with abandon.”
Brandon said he’s known – present tense – “as America’s most pro-labor senator.” One-second delay. “Well guess what and now as president well guess what.”
I’m guessing someone informed Dementia Joe in his earpiece that he’s not a senator anymore.
Sometimes Biden tries to wax poetic. This would have sounded good in the finish-the-job campaign spot yesterday.
“Across our country have framed the flame of liberty and fanned it and started the flicker in Athens a thousand years ago and now it burns brightly here.”
You know, like a dumpster fire.
Sometimes, Brandon is so out of it that his aides can’t correct anything until it’s transcribed and put on the White House website. On March 28, he confused “fourth” and “40th.” He said “no one going to have to pay more than 200 — $2,000 a year for their healthcare, period.”
Then he tried to spit out the word “microelectronics.” First he said “morecula,” then “molecular electronics.” The stenographer just put a line through everything.
It’s right there on the transcript. You could look it up.
Here are some more recent sound cuts that Brandon could have used in his official announcement yesterday, some from his junket to Ireland:
“We believe anything is possible if we putted our mind to it.”
“Ireland has committed more than 170 million Euros in non-lethal aid to Ukraine in looting including vital protective gear, medical equipment, humanitarian support.”
“Including the right to bleathe clean air.”
“You have built international credibility as peacekeepers stepping up continuously to serve in the UN keace-peeping missions since Ireland first development since Ireland first deployment.”
“We’re created more than 12,000 brand-new jobs in two years. That’s more than any president in American history has created in four years.”
“Big Pharma can no longer rip us off by charging exorbitant prices for prescription jugs.”
“Here in Northern Ireland programs like un young young young entrepreneur young enterprise Northern Ireland…”
“Ireland’s contribution of 50 million Euros is helping prevent the the ta the ta the treat wasting child wasting and supply ready to use therapeutic foods and reach a half-million children in Africa.”
At the end of one of his spellbinding perorations in Ireland, he tried to exhort his audience.
“Let’s go, let’s go lick the world let’s get it done.”
“It’s about being able to lick your kid in the eye and say honey it’s gonna be okay and mean it.”
Brandon wants to lick the world. He already looks plenty licked to me. He would also like to finish the job.
Finish the job? Seriously, Mr. President, haven’t you already done enough?