If it’s true that any grand jury will indict a ham sandwich if the prosecutor asks it to, then why does special counsel Robert Mueller need a (ital.) second (end ital.) grand jury for his phony-baloney Russian collusion investigation?

He’d been using one to hear evidence in Alexandria VA, but now Mueller wants another one, in DC. And word of its impaneling was instantly leaked – how DC is that?

“Grand jury matters,” Trump’s lawyer Ty Cobb dryly noted, “are typically secret.”

Unless they’re trying to hang a frame on Donald Trump. Which is what this is all about — an investigation in search of a crime. That’s why the Swamp needs two grand juries — because they hate him so much, and there is no crime, so they have to work twice as hard to conjure felonies out of whole cloth. This can be done. Just ask Scooter Libby.

“The Russian story is a total fabrication,” Trump said last night in Huntington, WVa. “It’s just an excuse for the greatest loss in the history of American politics. What the prosecutors should be looking at are Hillary Clinton’s 33,000 deleted emails. They should be looking at the paid Russian speeches or let them look at the uranium she sold….”

And so on and so forth.

Now, every story about Robert Mueller notes that he is a “registered Republican.” Of sure, and so is, or was, Gary Johnson, Bill Weld, Colin Powell, Joe Scarborough and James Comey. In other words, they’re just not making registered Republicans like they used to.

Given the fact that there was no “collusion,” as if collusion was a crime to begin with, now the Democrat secret police are shifting gears into Trump’s finances.

How on the level are these Star Chamber proceedings? You already know about how almost all of the lawyers are Clinton/Obama donors, denizens of the Deep State.

The latest hire is Greg Anders. He’s married to Ronnie Abrams, a federal judge in New York appointed by Barack Obama. Her father is Floyd Abrams, a lawyer for the New York Times. Her brother is Dan Abrams, a TV lawyer who works for ABC on the same morning show with Clinton operative George Stephanopoulos.

Ronnie Abrams was recommended for her judgeship by Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, who recently said of President Trump:

“Has he kept any of his promises? No! Bleep no!”

Nice potty mouth. And Greg Andres, the newest lawyer hired by the special counsel, just maxed out to his wife’s patron Gillibrand — $2,700.

And they tell us they’re on the level.

My guess is that the DC grand jury will be doing most of the heavy lifting from here on out. Here’s why: the Alexandria grand jurors come from a state where Trump got 44 percent of the vote. He’s bound to have at least a couple of supporters on that grand jury.

The DC grand jurors, on the other hand, those 23 good men and true, as they used to be described, come from a city where only four percent of the electorate voted for Trump.

In other words, maybe one of the 23 grand jurors in DC will be a Trump voter – if the president is lucky.

“There were no Russians in our campaign,” Trump told the Mountaineer crowd last night. “We didn’t win because of the Russians, we won because of you.”

Before it’s over, “registered Republican” Mueller may need yet another grand jury. My suggestion – impanel it in Salem. It would seem appropriate for this witch hunt.

Remember when then-Gov. Jane Swift said into an open mike, “I’m in a firing mood.” If Donald Trump isn’t in one yet, he’s gotta be getting close.

Howie Carr is the New York Times best-selling author of The Brothers Bulger and Hitman, in addition to several other Boston organized-crime books and two novels. He is the host of a New England-wide radio talk-show syndicated to more than 20 stations, and is a member of the Radio Hall of Fame in Chicago.