The next thing the Democrats have to do is get Bolshevik Bernie out of the race — before Sunday, which is when the next debate is scheduled.
Sleepy Joe Biden has already been allowed to sit down (the debate is, after all, sponsored by CNN). But the condition that Joe finds himself in now, utterly incoherent, babbling, totally non compos mentis, it wouldn’t be enough to wheel him on stage in an iron lung, with an oxygen mask on his face.
They have to cancel that Sunday night debate, dammit! The Deep State has to be saying to themselves, we don’t care if we have to buy Breadline Bernie three “summer camps” on Lake Champlain to get him out of the fight this time, it has to be done!
The former vice president has become a one-man assembly line of gaffes. A few weeks ago, we’d get a couple every weekend, and they’d spice up the Monday radio show.
You know, confusing Ohio and Iowa, California and Nevada, rhapsodizing about the beauty of Keene, Vermont.
But as the primaries and caucuses began, the pace intensified.
“People of Nevada are watching,” he said last month, “and I’m gonna be out there soon enough. But tonight, though, we just heard from the first two of the 50 states. It’s important that Iowa and Nevada have spoken but look, it’s important we hear from Nevada and South Carolina.”
And don’t forget Nevada either, Mr. Vice President.
Now we get one or two new gaffes every day. My producer breaks in during the broadcast with the latest howler, like Monday when Biden said, “Together I think we can win back the House,” before remembering that the glorious victory had occurred 16 months earlier. Short-term memory is always the first thing to go, isn’t it?
He also said something else that I spent part of Tuesday morning trying to transcribe. I finally got it, I think, although you can’t get sure:
“Look, they always say, ‘Biden dismisses China.’ I don’t di-di-dimiss China. But if we invest in ourselves, as they say in a little steel town where I come from, Claymont, Delaware, not a patch on our jeans.” (Or was it “team?”)
But even as I kept trying to decipher the previous day’s mumbling, Biden was getting into it with a hardhat in Michigan. The guy was asking him about guns, and Slow Joe was babbling about “AR-14’s” and he finally told him, “You’re full of (bleep)!”
But then, Joe has a problem with guns, I mean beyond the actual Second Amendment.
“Who in God’s name needs a hundred rounds in a bullet — in a gun you have?”
Or, “You cannot have 20, 30, 40 clips in a weapon.”
On the alt-left networks, they call these “gaffes.” And the Democrat hacks say, well, he has gaffes but he doesn’t lie. Although of course he does — remember, just recently, how he was arrested with Nelson Mandela in Soweto… oh never mind.
“I’ve been in debates. I debated Paul Ryan. I debated that woman who could see Russia. Okay?”
Okay. In Iowa, he forgot Steve Lynch’s name. On Super Tuesday, he introduced his wife as his sister, and vice versa. He called Julian Castro “Julio.” He thinks Beto O’Rourke is Latino.
Last weekend he called himself “Joe O’Biden Bama.” He thinks he’s running for the Senate, and that a Senate candidate in South Carolina is running for president. He even forgets the name of the man he used to call “Barack America.” Now he says “it was President (long awkward pause) my boss.”
President My Boss. Yes, those were the days, when President America picked him to head up the inauguration in “January of 2012, actually 2013, no wait a minute, we elected in 2012, 2010 or 13.”
Come on, you remember. It was “back in the spring, late fall, early sum — I mean late spring late winter early fall early – anyway, you know what I mean.”
“We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women created by the go you know, the thing –“
“So you go ahead and stack spaghetti sauce at a store and and and a supermarket you control the guy or the woman who runs the runs runs the – brings out the carts on on on a forklift…”
It’s comedy gold, but now his handlers are desperately trying to keep his, ahem, remarks short. But that debate on Sunday night, good Lord, even on CNN, which has already tried to disembowel Bernie at least a couple of times.
The only question for the Biden campaign now is, How much, Bernie? How much do you want? And if you want to stay in this fight all the way to Milwaukee Bernie – what are you, a lying dog-faced pony soldier?