Elizabeth Warren’s last stand
Is it too late now for me to get my selfie with the fake Indian?
How am I going to get her to autograph my copy of “Pow Wow Chow?”
When does Bailey the wonder dog go back to Rent-a-Dog Kennel?
She finished third in her “home state” of Massachusetts, and fourth in her native state of Oklahoma — this is Pocahontas’ own personal Wounded Knee, and throw in Horseshoe Bend and Tippecanoe, too.
She got “hammered,” to use her favorite word from the 2012 Senate campaign. And surely, somewhere, on the other side of the world, Scott Brown must be smiling. What goes around comes around.
“Cast a vote that makes you proud!” she exhorted Tuesday night in Michigan.
For the record, exit polls in Massachusetts showed her finishing third among women. They should be proud of themselves.
Did President Trump call this one or what Monday night in Charlotte?
“Elizabeth Pocahontas — by the way, she’s history, she’s history. … You know, those embers were burning a little bit a couple of months ago but they never caught on. In fact, she’ll probably lose the state of Massachusetts to Bernie. … She’s the senator from Massachusetts. I think she’s gonna lose it to Bernie.”
Well, okay, so she lost it to Joe Biden … and Bernie too.
Then he riffed on her bogus DNA test.
“I said I have more Indian blood in me than you have and I have none. … One-1024th. … What a phony she is, what a phony.”
Yes, she is. Or should I say was, because it’s all over. Add her name to the list of also-rans from the Bay State, two of whom joined on the ballot and in oblivion on the ballot Tuesday — Bill Weld and Deval Patrick.
And before them Ted Kennedy, Mike Dukakis, Paul Tsongas, John Kerry … and now Lieawatha. All their candidacies ended up in the Happy Hunting Ground. Not one became the Great White Father.
The fake Indian has never had any real interest either in the Senate or the state. If she cared about Massachusetts she’d have known in 2012 that the “west coast” of Massachusetts is the Connecticut River, and that beyond it lies Berkshire County, where Bernie ruled Tuesday night.
If she’d cared about Massachusetts, she’d have known that the town of Bourne is not pronounced “Bern.” She wouldn’t have called the American justice system “racist front to back” days after two police officers here had been gunned down in cold blood.
It was a long time coming, but many moons of utter political phoniness, of speaking with forked tongue, finally came back to bite her in the … well, you know.
Maura Healey will survive. Ditto Ayanna Pressley.
The Joe Biden supporters like Marty Walsh and Steve Lynch who looked like such forlorn losers last week — they can breathe a little easier, but only for a day or so. Long term, the tides are running against them. They better hope Uncle Joe can remember what day of the week it is, and what state he’s in, at least until Nov. 3.
Now she runs out of wampum. Time to “reassess,” followed by a decision to “suspend” the campaign. Back to the tepee.
A real big loser: the Boston Globe. Could the bow-tied bum kissers have possibly written any more puff pieces? About her “path to victory”? What’s the Globe follow up today — her path to the Trail of Tears?
The utter nadir of the Globe’s coverage had to be the attacks on Bernie for having the audacity to campaign against the fake Indian — “shabby,” the pajama boys typed. “Brazen.”
Obviously, Bernie smelled blood in the water. One exit poll Tuesday night told the story: of the Massachusetts voters who’d decided early, only 7% went with Spreading Bull.
How many people did she have at the polls Tuesday? I mean, in the towns that don’t have cheese shops, or Black Lives Matter banners outside the wooden churches, or signs on the roads that warn that the DPW doesn’t use salt during snowstorms?
For someone who claims to have grown up on the jagged (or occasionally ragged) edge of the middle class, she seemed to have next to no support. Medicare for All, free tuition, reparations, the wealth tax — goodnight fake Indian.
She’s done. Better late than never!