Seth Moulton left out by the left
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has claimed her first scalp in Massachusetts.
It belongs to Seth Moulton, another Congressman, a legend in his own mind, who just announced he’s taking a look at running for President.
A “serious look.” Because, you know, he’s a serious guy. That’s why he’s being, uh, urged to throw his Marblehead Yacht Club cap into the ring, next to the fake Indian’s war bonnet.
Pardon all of us for laughing in your face, Representative.
Usually we only get one loser per presidential cycle from Massachusetts. This year we may have two, or maybe three, if Bill Weld decides to pass on happy hour.
Moulton really wanted to run next year for the U.S. Senate seat held by Ed “Mr. Frosty” Markey. The Man That Time Forgot will be 74 on primary day 2020, and he’s lamer than Mike Capuano and Joe Crowley combined.
But late last week, AOC threw a political lifeline to Mr. Frosty, allowing him to co-sponsor her ridiculous Green New Deal legislation.
“It is a mission,” he gushed on cable TV, “to save all of creation by engaging in massive job creation.”
Actually, it’s only about saving one job – his, in the Senate. If he gets reelected, he’s all set until 2026, when he’ll be running yet again at the age of 80. It won’t be like he’s losing his fastball, either, because he never had one to begin with. And he’d still be a spring chicken compared to Diane Feinstein.
Markey’s dumber than a rock, but now he’s AOC’s pet rock. And he does have a certain low cunning. Which is why he realized early on that AOC is a sort of Pied Piper to the shiftless layabouts of the modern Democrat Party.
Think of it this way – AOC has out-Ayanna’ed Ayanna Presley.
Forget about destroying the economy – the basis of AOC’s Green New Deal is FREE STUFF! Even for those “unwilling to work!” They tried to walk that one back – flat-out lied about those three words being in the plan – but it was like blowing a dog whistle for the Dems. They heard the magic words before they were excised from AOC’s website.
And AOC cut Mr. Frosty in on her big score. Apparently they’ve bonded, not at any MENSA meetings, you understand, but maybe because both of them cut a lot of classes at colleges on opposite ends of Com Ave – AOC at BU, Markey at BC.
And now she’s got his back, even though he’s old enough to be her grandfather.
What a revoltin’ development this was for Moulton – he was more Yankee, more preppy, more Ivy League than even his hero, John Kerry. How could the hoi polloi not anoint a man of his exquisite breeding? But this is a different Democrat party now. He’s a white male, and then, two years ago, he compounded his demographic problem by getting married – to a woman!
Not a good look in your modern Democrat party.
So Moulton decided to become a revolutionary in the House – by opposing Nancy Pelosi. Until she gave him a dirty look and told him to “Jump!” and Moulton whimpered, “How high?” It was embarrassing, like being in the French Revolution, chanting “Off with her head!” at Marie Antoinette and then deciding to have a piece of cake with her.
Of course Moulton could go after the fake Indian’s Senate seat in 2024. She obviously has zero interest in the Bay State. But JoJoJo Kennedy has first dibs on that seat, which is after all Teddy’s and JFK’s. He officially staked his claim by introducing her in Lowell Saturday.
Do you think as a Kennedy, JoJoJo was amused by her repeated references to the “rigging” of the system?
And so many others can likewise claim a right to run for one of the septuagenarians’ Senate seats. For instance, Michelle Wu, the Boston city councilor. She trekked up to Lowell too. The Globe has been giving her a tryout for the role of favored 2021 candidate of color against Mayor Marty Walsh, a white man – that’s what her laughable AOC-like proposal to reduce MBTA fares to zero was all about.
As in all these fights, the only thing that really matters is getting rid of the white guy. Michelle Wu may or may not get the contract to whack Walsh, but if she doesn’t, someone else will step up. The Globe likes Michelle though – not only is she a woman of color, she’s also not from Massachusetts. Always a bonus in local politics these days. Ask the fake Indian, or Katherine Clark, or Ayanna….
Why couldn’t Seth Moulton figure all this out? He may not be Irish or Italian, but in 2019 even a Yankee male can’t overcome his racial handicaps.
Don’t worry though Seth – I’m sure this presidential-campaign fallback of yours will work out just about as well for you as it did for your hero, John Forbes Liveshot Kerry.