Jim Lyons out-PCs the Democrats
Every gender, he declared, must be listed on Massachusetts driver’s licenses! That was Lyons’ non-negotiable demand. No justice, no peace.
Doesn’t it say in the Declaration of Independence, “All genders are created equal?” Well, something like that.
Next question: how many genders are there? New York City under deBlasio once ruled there are 31 – easy to remember, because it’s same number as Baskin-Robbins ice cream flavors.
Then the number began creeping upwards, getting close to Heinz’ 57 Varieties. Genders seem to be reproducing like amoebae, dividing and subdividing, trans to transsexual to trans man to trans male to trans person….
Sitting in the House chambers late Tuesday night, with the clock ticking down on the session, Lyons took out his smartphone and arrived at the latest updated number of genders: 73.
I asked Lyons Friday where he found his new number 73.
“Facebook,” he said.
Of course. If Facebook said it, it must be so.
Jim Lyons is often described as an arch-conservative. After all, he is the rep who a few years back forced the state to admit that it annually doled out $1.8 billion in welfare payments to illegal aliens. The Democrats have never forgiven him for that.
The “Gender X” bill was being pushed, bigtime, by the new Senate president, Karen Spilka. She’s succeeding the disgraced Stan Rosenberg, who, ahem, married a Pee Wee Herman lookalike 38 years his junior, a dodgy lad who has since been indicted on multiple counts of sexual assault and pornography.
All of which are major resume-enhancers in the modern Democrat party. Realizing she had very big shoes to fill in the virtue-signaling department, Spilka came up with her bill, S. 2562, which would have enshrined a third gender, “X,” in the Mass. General Laws.
But then Lyons called her bluff. And the legislative leadership couldn’t rule any of his gender amendments out of order as absurd, because if they did, it would be giving away the game. They would be admitting that the “X”-ercise was preposterous on its face.
Lyons began filing his affirmative-action amendments. Number 6 added as a gender “cis.” Amendment 9 – cis female, 13 – cis woman, 14 – cisgender female, 18 – cisgender woman….
By now, on the floor of the House, puzzled Democrats were coming up to Lyons, asking him what he was doing.
We can’t discriminate, he archly informed them. This is Massachusetts. Gender is an evolving paradigm, to coin a phrase. All genders must be protected. Equal protection under the law.
Amendment 21 – gender fluid, 22 gender non-conforming, 23 gender questioning, 25 gender variant, 26 genderqueer….
In all, 73 genders, 73 amendments to Spilka’s bill.
Under House rules, Lyons would have 10 minutes to debate each gender he proposed to add to the driver’s license. And then three minutes for a roll call vote, 73 times.
The leadership was beat. By midnight, they needed to pass legislation – real bills, not this PC nonsense, but their actual business, land takings and the like. If Lyons insisted on going full Social Justice Warrior, there would no time for reality.
He had already filed 35 of his 73 amendments – six hours’ worth of debates and votes – when leadership threw in the towel. They ordered Gender X back… into the closet.
It was 10:45. By now, the few remaining sane Democrats in the legislature realized that Lyons had done them a solid, sparing them from being recorded on a roll call vote on whether to recognize the genders of pangender, polygender and cisgender, not to mention intersex, intersex man, intersex woman and intersex person….
Personally, I’m glad S. 2562 is back in the closet, because it’s obvious what the two-spirit community’s next demand would have been – listing all 73 genders on the actual licenses.
Imagine lugging around a license bigger than one of those giant cardboard checks Publishers Clearinghouse used to give out to its million-dollar winners. Consider the potential chaos at the airport security gates, if your driver’s license was larger than your carry-on luggage, or if a cop pulled you over on the road and asked for your license and you had to open the trunk to get it out….
As Lyons left the chambers, a very confused reporter asked him why he’d done such a thing to Gender X.
Lyons says he glared back at the scribe.
“Are you saying you want to leave some genders behind?”
Jim Lyons – he did it for the children.