Governor denies knowing of Pike spike, folks

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Tall Deval was busted.

Does anyone seriously believe that Gov. Charlie Baker didn’t know the state budget contained a provision for a “pilot program” to charge taxpayers more to commute into the city on the Turnpike and commuter rail during rush hour?

The “pilot program” was to be administered by the state DOT, which is run by… Tall Deval. But he claims he was gob smacked by the idea. Really. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it, folks. And you know Tall Deval was telling the truth, folks, because he used the word “folks” when he was talking about the pilot program.

What a typical bureaucratic obfuscation – “pilot program.” As if it’s an experiment that the hacks haven’t decided whether or not to permanently impose on productive citizens, as opposed to themselves.

It’s right up there with “earmarking,” as in, we won’t waste this latest tax increase, promise, because unlike the rest of the $42 billion in the state budget, this money will be “earmarked” to be spent wisely. (Al Gore vowed to put his earmarked funds into a “lock box.”)

But my favorite euphemism is “sunsetted,” as in, “This tax will sunset when the bonds we sold to build the Turnpike are paid off.”

The hacks actually did say that – in 1958. Do you know when the Turnpike bonds were paid off? In 1988. The Dukakis-era payroll patriots were bragging about the “superb condition” of the Spike (as I like to call it) until the moment they realized as soon as the tolls “sunsetted,” they were out of their phony-baloney jobs.

So here we are, 30 years later, and not only are the Spike tolls still here, they’ve been doubled, and redoubled again… and now on top of it all they want “peak pricing,” not just for the traditionally oppressed MetroWest drivers, but for commuter rail riders too.

And Tall Deval says, “Who? Me?”

Yes, Tall Deval, you. Is he still touting those polls that say he’s the most popular governor in America? Maybe they should just poll the Republicans who are going to be voting in the GOP primary the day after Labor Day, six weeks from Tuesday.

Tall Deval may be popular with Democrats, but he’s got a Macbeth problem with his alleged base: “Those he commands move only in command, nothing in love.”

Everywhere you turn you see evidence of the ineptitude and corruption of the last four years. The other day, I was westbound on the Spike, and I passed a building with an open-under-new-management sign:

“Massachusetts State Police Troop H.”

Of course it used to be Troop E, but the feds put them out of business. Right now the G-men are lugging more Troop E staties than members of MS-13, Teamsters Local 25 and the mob – combined.

And Tall Deval’s solution? Rename the crooked cops “Troop H.” H for honest, no doubt.

Yesterday I’m getting coffee, and I start talking to a neighbor who’s in a cast with a broken leg. She’s a physician, needs a temporary handicapped license plate.

“I called Gov. Baker’s office,” she told me, “and of course he was of no use.”

All of us at the coffee shop chuckled. She had summed up Tall Deval’s entire administration.

Obscene payraises? Sorry, folks, they overrode my veto. Hack judges cutting loose murderers and illegal-alien drug dealers? Sorry, folks, it’s unfortunate, but they paid us good money for those judgeships, you know.

No cut in the sales tax? Sorry, folks, our priority is the non-working classes rather than the working classes.

If the Democrats hadn’t lost their minds, if they had a sane candidate in the wings, they’d have a real shot at the Corner Office this fall. You wouldn’t need an Ed King or a Frank Bellotti – a normal Democrat, as they used to be called. Even a Marsha Coakley might be able to take Baker out this year.

Imagine the TV spots you could run against Baker. Just do man-in-the-street interviews. Recurring theme: Charlie was of no use to me.

Have one in front of the Osborn Tavern in Danvers, last employer of money-laundering income-tax-evading state trooper Leigha Genduso: “Can you believe I got a speeding ticket from a state trooper who was hired after she committed perjury and was a kingpin level drug dealer? I called the governor’s office and of course he was of no use – all he sent me was a selfie of the crooked drug-dealing trooper with Lt. Gov. Polito.”

Next cut, at a commuter-rail station: “The trains are worse than ever – and now I’m supposed to pay more for the privilege of going to work to support this epic corruption and incompetence?”

Next cut, a woman outside a “transgender” bathroom: “I told the governor there’s a male sex offender hiding in the ladies’ room and he shrugged and told me to call the attorney general and Maura Healey just told me to ‘hold it.’”

Next cut, a guy in a hardhat outside a precinct: “I’m a Republican primary voter and Charlie Baker calls our president ‘disgusting’ and ‘disappointing,’ but he says his own son Gropey is a fine young man. Who do you think I’m voting for Sept. 4?”

That’s all, folks.

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